The Fog Report - Queen Mary's Dark Harbor: Summoned By The Seas

As October continues to fly by, this humble explorer feels like there’s still a lot to catch up to. With so many spooky events and shows to take in around SoCal and so little time, I find myself gravitating back to old haunts even as I try to keep up with new ones, hoping to strike a balance each season. Because the ship’s horn has blared, a coastal fog has rolled in, and I find myself trudging back to Long Beach’s waterfront to see what’s taking place at Dark Harbor this year.

Don’t get the wrong idea, of course. This is something I do happily. But I should warn that this article might run a little shorter this year, as Summoned By The Seas is not much different than last year’s The Spirits Rise. Now in its second year since Thirteenth Floor pulled the original event from its watery grave, I’m not surprised that it feels like baby steps are still being taken as they figure out what works and what doesn’t, and I’ll do my best to remain fair.

So, what’s been summoned by the seas this year?

The Event

The tide has brought the expected macabre cacophony back to the historic RMS Queen Mary, and the ocean liner is as beautiful as ever even 90 years after her initial launch. Her background presence is a constant reminder what Dark Harbor owes her - a storied, timeless giant lending atmosphere and credence to what I might generously call a county fair. Those who have read my previous reports on Dark Harbor know that I’m not the biggest fan of this kind of vibe, especially with the continued prevalence of upcharge fare all around, but that’s just me. It doesn’t feel as spooky to run into a roaming monster when a DJ is blasting something in the background and crowds are lining up to buy deep-fried food or a beer from a popup venue, though I will commend the talent for having to navigate this difficult environment and still managing to scare people.

One fun aspect is the inclusion of certain theme nights, a factor of Dark Harbor I didn’t note last year. The night I went was the beginning of their Pride Nights, which to me is a friendly reminder that the real horror community is inclusive and proud of it. The celebration was accented by rainbow balloons and Pride flags popping up around the grounds and punctuated by a drag show on the Shipyard stage. I’ve previously been on a Dia de Los Muertos night at the end of the 2019 season, and I’m glad to know they’re bringing that kind of energy back, especially since the event bills itself as a Halloween festival. That adds an element of fun to the whole thing.

Unfortunately, this season marks the sad loss of the seaside port village, torn down earlier this year after having been long abandoned and condemned. The weathered buildings always served as a good backdrop for Dark Harbor and often played host to some of my favorite mazes in the past, namely Intrepid. Dark Harbor still manages to bring in the village graveyard as the winding path one takes to get from the entry gate to the Shipyard and is much-needed injection of haunting immersion before the party kicks off. There’s also the excellent Voodoo Bayou area, an eerie shantytown that is surprisingly quiet by comparison and a good place to chill with a drink (provided you can find an open table). Beyond these, though, most of Dark Harbor is there for the lively shindig and eschews a supernatural world for creative use of dozens of shipping containers - which, being so close the Port of Long Beach, they have in ready supply.

The secret speakeasies are thankfully still present and remain a fan-favorite aspect. While I only discovered two last year, there’s at least four this year, and perhaps more depending on the night or which mazes have them open. Finding them is not terribly difficult if you keep an eye out for Lady Mabel’s mythical signs, standing out as markers within the mazes. You’ll still need a token to get in, but this year I allowed myself to splurge a little and purchased a Foresight Four Pack, which nets you a fun little reading and hint from Lady Mabel herself and a set of four tokens. I won’t spoil the surprise, but the two speakeasies I managed to visit this year were worth it, including my return trip to the Fathom 6 Bar in the old boiler rooms of the Queen Mary; sadly the drinks offered there were not as good as last year’s, but that might depend on which bar you find.

The Mazes

A good sign that things are improving is that Summoned by The Seas adds an additional maze, bringing the total to a cool 6. The quality of all remains high, and my ranking always boils down to personal preference, but I feel like there’s something lacking with them this year compared to last overall, and so far none have hit the same way the mazes in 2019 did. Some strange choices this year leave me a little wanting, even with the mazes aboard the ship, which I’ll get into as we go.

6 - Feast: The Final Cut

Marked as the final year for this weird trilogy-that-doesn’t-feel-like-a-trilogy, this mid-quel(?) maze supposedly helps finish the story of the Butcher’s rise to Chef. In practice, it just feels like a rehash of last year’s maze with one or two new details that don’t really give this premise more meat, pun intended. The framing throws me off, and even if you don’t care about the oddity that is the story, I’m kind of done with cannibalism as a gimmick in most mazes - it’s tired and played out, and I’m ready for something else to take its place and use the footprint for a better concept.

5 - Breakout: Maximum Security

The absence of the port village really hit Breakout hard, as I remember enjoying last year’s double-feature with On the Run much more. Even so, the maze still gets its prison escape theme across as you follow in Samuel the Savage’s footsteps through the prison and its nearby environs, dodging security guards and hostile inmates alike. There’s a religious trauma sub-theme going on with scary nuns and other iconography once you reach what I think is a prison chapel, and after that the maze gets a little more abstract, probably illustrating Samuel’s torment by his demons. There’s also a good couple of sections in here that are genuinely disorienting, from a well-used laser swamp to a foggy shipping container corridor (remember: shipping containers are everywhere) with a perplexing strobe effect.

4 - Big Top Terror

Everything I said about this maze last year still holds true. It’s still a lot of fun, but the talent within is what really holds it up. These clowns don’t slouch when it comes to their gags, and help the overall experience feel wicked and whimsical, a nice Halloween pastiche.

3 - Infirmary

The second year of Dr. Masters’ and Graceful Gale’s medical malpractice makes a few changes, some good and some not-so-good in my eyes. This year implies that many of the elite first-class passengers were in on the experiments - or at least liked to watch Dr. Masters perform in an operating theater - and that Graceful Gale had more of a role than anticipated as she gleefully joined her surgeon paramour in dissecting and torturing their third-class victims. My main issue comes from the fact that the latter half of the maze, my favorite portion set during Gale’s Halloween party, is now the finale and the maze is significantly shorter, cutting things off just as it was getting good. I realize in hindsight this really helped elevate the maze beyond another rote medical horror, and to truncate the end of the experience makes it lose something special. It still holds up, I just find that the debut year was better overall.

2 - Voodoo: The Queen’s Curse

Dark Harbor’s newest maze puts the Voodoo Priestess back in the spotlight. Having arrived with an army of undead sailors, the Priestess seeks to take command of the Queen Mary and its supernatural power. Voodoo comes in strong for an off-ship maze, beginning among the potion shops of the Bayou area, delving into a foggy walkway through a dark swamp and its scattered huts, and wrapping up in the repurposed barn from On the Run utilized to a much better impact. With impressive use of lighting and fog, Voodoo feels so much bigger than its outdoor space would suggest, and has the perfect tone, atmosphere and pacing for its theme. It reminds me of a smaller version of Knott’s Scary Farm’s own Voodoo maze from years ago, and I mean that as a compliment. It’s a fantastic addition to the Dark Harbor maze lineup!

1 - Lullaby

The longest and most tense maze, Scary Mary’s haunt is still the best one on the ship. The slow and steady journey is punctuated this year by many more appearances of Mary in unexpected places, including some additional projection effects to make her presence is even more ghostly. Some may see it as sparse or empty, but at least when I went every scare felt earned after a buildup, and with the length of the meandering path through the vessel’s bleak corridors and over the “collapsing” bridge to the boiler room, you’re getting a lot of superb immersion into the unsettling environs of the actual Queen Mary, a huge plus in my book.

Final Thoughts

Last year I wrote about feeling optimistic for Dark Harbor’s future, and this year proved some of that to be true. Summoned By The Seas is only marginally different from The Spirits Rise, for better or for worse, which doesn’t give me as much to elaborate on in this report. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. But the addition of the amazingly-done Voodoo is a sign that things are slowly but surely becoming shipshape, and I hope Thirteenth Floor is able to keep charting a course that brings Dark Harbor more success. As always, my hat’s off to the people that design, build and occupy Dark Harbor for the season.

If you should decide to visit before the event wraps up, let me know what you thought of it and what you experienced! I’d be very curious to see how our experiences might differ. Just beware of the parking situation (it really hasn’t gotten much better) and go on a weeknight to avoid giving yourself a headache if you can; otherwise, Lady Mabel might see a lot of long lines in your future.

Thank you again for your time and attention, intrepid readers. I’ve got at least one more stop on my October tour, and I need to refill my lantern. Bon voyage, and I’ll see you in the fog.

Dark Harbor runs select nights through November 2nd. Tickets can be found here.

The Fog Report - Delusion: Harrowing of Hell

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, intrepid readers, and my intention was to get this out a lot sooner. I think at worst this series only sin is "being better late than never.” And hey, it’s my own deadline. Can you blame me for getting a little turned around in the fog when traveling through the layers of Inferno? Because that’s where Delusion: Harrowing of Hell took me, and the journey was definitely more important than the destination.

As with many local Halloween events, Delusion is one I’ve kept my eye on for some time but never experienced, marking another first for me this year. More immersive theater than haunt, these shows put you in the center of the action and actually ask you to follow the story and, in some cases, make bold choices in a tense situation. Your willingness to play along and allow the immersion to take hold is important here, because this is not a typical conga-line through a maze; you are sent through in small groups from which you might be further separated from, where beats play out and the actors can, in certain circumstances, touch you.

That last point was a red flag for me and still is for a lot of haunts. I draw a line at physical contact in most cases, out of fear of being grabbed, manhandled and pulled somewhere against my will. Knowing this was a factor kept me from Delusion in the past, not wanting to cross that self-made boundary. I understood that this was not an “extreme” haunt where the goal was to make one feel distinctly uncomfortable - my mind goes to the fan-favorite 17th Door haunt - and yet I stayed away, just to be safe.

Then, much like with HHN, a friend in this year’s cast invited me to technical dress rehearsal, and I decided to throw caution to the wind and set off down the Pagan’s Path. I’m good to try almost anything once, and I figured that I’d never have to do it again if I didn’t like it.

The problem is, I liked it. Quite a lot.

Delusion: Harrowing of Hell takes place in the storied Variety Arts Theatre, right in the heart of downtown Los Angeles. Upon arrival, you are welcomed into an eerie red-lit nightclub/lounge as you wait for your turn to walk the Pagan’s Path, the story being that a supernatural cult is running the place and welcoming pilgrims to follow a route inspired by Dante’s Inferno to reach Hell itself. The main lounge’s scarlet lighting and pounding music give way to cool blue tones and chill beats if you go down the basement stairs to The Ninth Circle, so you can take your pick about which vibe you’d rather have. Both spaces give you an opportunity to ease into the world, have a drink or two and relax as you take in the atmosphere.

Once you are called, the real experience begins. Heading upstairs and passing through a creepy study further emphasizing the occult research going on, you only have to wait a little longer until your party is sent forth. I won’t go into too many details - don’t want to spoil the surprise too much, and going in blind was so worth it - but the Pagan’s Path takes you through a variety of eerie scenes and tense vignettes, meeting masked “Virgils” who guide you through each twisted realm as you get more and more lost in the building’s dark spaces, transformed with superb set dressing and theatrical lighting into circles of Hell.

I’ve stressed immersion several times because rare is the experience that does this well, but Delusion excelled. During my sojourn I ascended and descended a dark elevator several times; was made to go solo to grab a key while avoiding a blind, pitchfork-wielding nun; wade through a foggy “river of filth” laser lake while something half-seen chased us; hid while a shadowy Medusa glided through the gloom where the only proper detail I could see was how the snakes on her head writhed; and paid to cross the River Styx as moaning phantoms rose from the mist and tried to pull us in.

My describing these doesn’t really do it justice, as it really needs to be experienced, but I was deeply impressed by the scope and staging of Delusion. There are hints of a bigger world that you only briefly pass that I appreciated - an eerie mannequin lying outside a glass door, a decadent dinner arrangement off to a side that seemed to be random animal (and possible human) parts, or a crumbling graveyard as backdrop as you rush to the next scene. It was surreal, frightening but also adventurous; dramatic and unsettling as opposed to gross and startling. It earns its scares and paces itself beautifully.

And my concerns about the contact with the actors was moot in the end. If anything, the touches are light, either brushes or soft encouragements, and make sense in context. One of my group was gently led away by a tall, smiling figure, and shortly thereafter discovered the missing person with his wrists bound and had to untie him before a looming horror reached us; and in my case, when a lost soul reached out of the fog in a winding corridor begging for help, I reached out for them to follow us and they took my hand and let me lead them while everyone else ran scared. It was ultimately beneficial from a story perspective because said soul ended up giving us good advice on traversing our next trial. I think Delusion strikes a really good balance, and your willingness to play along is rewarded.

If I have any gripes, its less about the experience and more the people I was with, which leads me to my one big piece of advice: go with people you know. I flew solo and got lumped in with a group that seemed like they were just expecting a typical haunted house. They weren’t as willing to play along with their "aw Hell no” attitude, and while I was trying to enjoy the experience, they were cracking jokes and being rude, which meant I missed some parts of the story with their constant commentary. It was honestly their loss, but I wish I’d gone with people who wanted to play in the space and suspend disbelief.

Overall, having gone in with zero expectations, Delusion: Harrowing of Hell felt like a great introduction to the event, and one I’ll keep tabs on for the future. I retroactively wish I’d gone to previous presentations of Delusion, but I look forward to seeing what they do next. It’s the kind of thing I am glad to see and, depending on the theme, will gladly try again.

I still have plenty more stops to make this season, though I doubt anything else will be as haunting or Hellish. If you do decide to walk the Pagan’s Path this October, take a drink for me at The Ninth Circle. Good luck, and I’ll see you in the fog.

Delusion: Harrowing of Hell operates select nights until November 9th. You can look into it yourself and purchase tickets here. Special thanks to Sandy Stoltz for the invitation and opportunity to experience this event!

The Fog Report - Halloween Horror Nights Hollywood 2025

Autumn is finally upon us, intrepid readers, and here in SoCal we’ve already had vestiges of Halloween appearing as early as mid-August. Even I think that’s a little too soon, but Christmas does the same to the months before it, so what do you do?

But I’m not here to rant, oh no. It’s time to kick off The Fog Report for the 2025 spooky season, and welcome it I shall with open arms. This year, I got started with something new, at least for me: my first ever visit to Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights event.

Anyone who knows me (or who has read previous Fog Reports) might find that surprising. I’ve never felt a massive compulsion to go to HHN when there are a multitude of other haunts and immersive theater events in the region that tell their own stories. Generally speaking, IP-driven mazes and events don’t usually draw me in, not nearly to the level of original or homegrown ideas. Add to this the horror stories I’ve heard from friends about the crowds and wait times at Universal and the apparent necessity to buy an Express pass to even hope to get through everything, and you might understand why I haven’t been keen on attending. But a friend of mine invited me to an employee preview night, which I graciously accepted. Keep that in mind as you read further because my perceptions of the event might be significantly different due to the reduced crowd size and technical dress rehearsal nature.

That said, was this was a good year to be properly introduced to HHN?

The Event

In a broad sense, HHN does have its own feel to it compared to other theme park haunts, and rightfully so. It’s not as inherently immersive as Knott’s Scary Farm or as drenched in fairground party atmosphere as Dark Harbor, but falls somewhere in the middle and with the unique plus of having a genuine movie studio roster of IP to pull from, plus a movie studio budget going into its props, costumes and maze design. Universal absolutely leans on brand recognition when it comes to its presentation, as it actively changes out most of its mazes and zones every year unlike the 4-to-5-years shelf life of other attractions. The money they can pump into it is on full display, and my hope is that the designers and crew who set this up feel good about what they get to work with, because it is genuinely impressive.

I should note a distinction when it comes to “scare zones” at HHN: they’re tiny! Compared to sprawling park-wide swaths of Scary Farm, HHN has these little pockets and corners where they have a handful of decorations and a squad of roaming monsters, but they are few and far between. Standouts for me were Noche de Brujas, a dark street haunted by Latin American witches and decorated with eerie wagons, wicker effigies and poster-sized tarot cards depicting the resident hags; and Murder of Crowz with its stilt-walking corvid monsters protecting a creepy (but cute) animatronic fledgling.

The rest of the zones were a little more cut and dried, with the Chainsaw Clownz and Carnival of Carnage filling the requisite killer clown and scary chainsaw box along the main thoroughfare. There was also a extra-small “zone” one passed through on the way to the Terror Tram called Hellbillyz, but it seems to be an almost unofficial one a couple of gruesome yokels menacing passersby with pickaxes.

Size aside, the talent in all of these did a superb job - a part of me just wishes they had more room to play.

Making up for this is the most one-of-a-kind recurring feature of HHN, the Terror Tram. A quick jaunt aboard the studio tour trams takes visitors to the lower lot and lets you walk a gauntlet through legitimate movie sets now populated with scare actors. This year, the theme was all horror properties of Blumhouse, spearheaded by M3GAN and featuring a full roster from the last 15 years of the studio.

There’s not really anything else anywhere I can compare the Terror Tram experience to. Having the opportunity to walk right up to the house from Psycho complete with photo-op with Norman Bates, and then stroll through the the now Purge-ified ruined neighborhood from War of the Worlds, was a treat in itself. I’m not necessarily a massive Blumhouse fan so the appeal for me was different, but again I commend the talent here for keeping the terror going, especially the folk who weren’t given a chainsaw (did I mention there were a lot of chainsaws?) to work with. I’m not saying chainsaws make the job any easier, but there’s an inherent gut reaction when someone is running at you with a real revving and gasoline-powered tool and swiping at your legs.

On this visit I didn’t get a chance to see the two offered shows (The Purge: Dangerous Waters and Chainsaw Man: The Chaos), but I did get a chance to sample some of the food, a topic I admittedly don’t talk about much when it comes to other events. As another example of how brand recognition drives the event, I confess I was eager to know specifically what their Fallout-themed confections tasted like. Thankfully the Filly Foodstuffs venue had a pretty legit-looking menu and some cool in-universe theming on top of it. I ended up trying some Gulper Stew which was above-average when it comes to theme park clam chowder I’ve had before, and washed it down with a sadly-not-actually-sarsaparilla Sunset Sarsaparilla (really just a root beer with some cool creamy foam on top, and no star bottle cap to be had either). The standout was probably the RadAway “blood bag,” a weird blend of chipotle, pineapple lemonade and brown sugar that was surprisingly good. And I sampled the Nuclear Blast mixed drink, which is so sweet and tasty it’s dangerous.

But for me, the real meat-and-potatoes of any haunt is going to be its mazes…

The Mazes

Eight mazes are presented at HHN 2025, all but two of them drawing on existing TV and film franchises. Looking at it from the outside prior to this, I had a lukewarm opinion of Universal’s choice of how to do maze scares, an extra factor that kept me from visiting on top of the price tag and disinterest in big horror properties as a draw. My observation was that HHN tends to have a “robotic” mentality when it comes to how the actors perform, all down to a formula: flashing light, loud sound, actor emerges from corner/boo door, makes scary motion, resets. I’m not sure how the talent feel about the seeming repetition, but it would drive me crazy; an egregious example of what I’m describing was what I saw in a 2022 Halloween maze where a performer playing Dr. Loomis had to work off the same looping scene of turning around and shooting Michael Myers. Imagine doing that, over and over, every night of HHN.

Was that opinion justified? It’s… complicated. I’ve kept tabs on both Hollywood and Orlando’s Horror Nights mazes over the years and like to think I have a balanced understanding of what to expect of them, but venturing into them is a completely different experience than watching them play out online (thanks to all the dedicated YouTube people for preserving past and present mazes in this form, by the way).

Below is my own personal ranking from least-enjoyed to most. As always, these tend to be where I put the most evaluation on the quality of the haunt, but it all boils down to an opinion. And in a similar vein, I deliberately skipped the Terrifier maze - I know for some this probably a fan favorite, but I’m not huge on the over-the-top gore ideas, the fact that the maze is “wet,” and there’s a room that smells like… well, like a bathroom Art the Clown is making his own personal canvas. That’s a big pass for me, but if you enjoyed it more power to you.

With that in place, here’s how the rest stacked up:

7 - Poltergeist

While it’s not uncommon for Universal to revive certain classic films to make mazes of, this is a one-for-one return of a previous Poltergeist maze from 2018! I’m not sure what prompted it or why, since I understand it was basically completely rebuilt. With that in mind, it suffers from what a lot of older HHN mazes struggled with - long, blank black corridors between more detailed scenes. Sometimes these corridors still have scares, but these sections leave a lot to be desired. This appears to be a design trend that’s gradually falling off so it makes this maze feel like a throwback, and not in an ideal way.

The giant skull puppets were very cool though, even if one of them basically startled me to the point where I inhaled fog and actually tasted it. I don’t recommend that.

6. Jason Universe

Consolidating the bulk of the Friday the 13th franchise into one big tribute maze, Jason Universe delivers in surprising and excellent ways as your move in roughly chronological order through the woods and cabins of Crystal Lake and encounter Jason and his victims. Nearly every iteration of Jason makes an appearance (sans Jason X… cowards) and the scares are familiar come aggressively, hardly giving room to recover - personal favorite being a tribute to the arrow kill from Part 3. Fans of the series are definitely going to get a kick out of this one, and unlike the previous maze on my list, there’s not a blackout corridor anywhere I saw.

5 - WWE Presents: The Horrors of the Wyatt Sicks

I’m unfamiliar with a lot of pro-wrestling and was kind of surprised to see this in the maze lineup. I did try to prepare by asking my good friend (and incredibly handsome UCA co-host) Allen to fill me in a little on the Wyatt Sicks lore, so I didn’t go in totally blind. The lack of expectation actually contributed to my enjoyment of the maze because this felt like an introduction to the members of the Sicks. Each space was the stomping ground for one of the group, helping set up who they were before they inevitably appeared from dark doorway or shadowy corner. I’d be curious to see how more informed fans of the Sicks will feel about this maze, but I appreciated that it seemed designed to get the theme across for the uninitiated while paying tribute to what the fireflies would hope for.

4 - Five Nights at Freddy’s

Definitely the most anticipated maze this year by the Gen-Z crowd, and that’s not a dig - the amount of excitement and love I saw in the line warmed my heart. Freddy’s is technically impressive, if not all that scary to me, which is A-OK. The attention to detail within the pizzeria is wonderful, and the animatronics and puppets used for Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy and the others are appropriately janky and a treat to see. If this doesn’t end up being one of the most popular mazes this year, I will honestly be surprised.

3 - Fallout

See, this was the one franchise maze I was most looking forward to this year, the chief reason I quickly accepted the offer to go. My bias might be on full display as a Fallout fan, but this maze kicked ass. It more-or-less follows scenes from the show, taking me from Vault 33 overrun by raiders to various corners of the Wasteland seen in the series. It also has my favorite big puppet scare of the whole event in a certain mutant creature (that I won’t spoil here), and a fun hint at the end pointing toward my beloved New Vegas in the show’s upcoming season.

If there’s any minor gripes I have with this maze, is that it feels too short and ends kind of abruptly. If they do something like this again, they can utilize a space where they can expand the footprint.

2 - Scarecrow: Music by Slash

Unsurprising to anyone who has read my Fog Reports before, the two original mazes are my winners. Promoting music is by Slash is kind of weird since it didn’t really stand out to me through the maze; what did stand out was the pacing, presentation and story. Set on a Depression-era farm during the Dust Bowl, you learn that the human inhabitants have been wiped out and the scarecrows, inhabited by the vengeful spirit of the depleted and dry land, are wreaking havoc.

I enjoy mazes that build, and this one eases in with a short, quieter section before the first scarecrow strikes, and then the environmental storytelling well and truly kicks in. The scares were good, coming at you from all sides, and the finale is a short but memorable cornfield scene that caps off an excellent maze.

1 - Monstruos 3: The Ghosts of Latin America

Third in a trilogy of mazes drawing from the rich and eerie folklore of Latin America, this year brings in a trio of ghostly women, one of whom has had her own mazes at HHN before. La Muerte guides you into a crypt where the spirits of La Muelona, La Siguanaba and La Llorona each have their stories unfold, all before you are dumped into the streets of Noche de Brujas to put a sinister bow on this spectral present.

Previous iterations of this theme have always captured my interest, oftentimes the one I see and go “I’d go to HHN just to see Monstruos, honestly.” Finally getting to go through this was a fantastic experience. The maze is feast for the eye and terrifying to boot, both haunting and hair-raising. In addition, I was happy to finally see Universal’s interpretation of La Llorona in person. That myth is near and dear to me, to the point where I’ve tried to tell my own story with her in Midnight Marinara The talent playing her went above and beyond nailing her vibe, appearing with a wail and retreating with a look of horror and sadness on their faces. Even the use of one blackout corridor at the very end was actually justified, as La Muerte set up for it by asking if anyone was afraid of the dark. Easily my favorite maze.

Final thoughts

It was a trip getting to visit Halloween Horror Nights after years of watching it from afar and I had a fantastic evening. Is it something I would do again? I’m not entirely sure, as this was a special occasion brought about by the kindness of a friend. It’s hard to be beat free admission, and I’m not sure I’d go again based on the asking price, the massive crowds and the reliance on familiar big properties, but that’s just me. Maybe I’ll try my hand at the Orlando version sometime… except that require going to Florida. Hm.

I’m still not entirely sold on HHN, but the work that’s done is hard to beat. I think places like Dark Harbor and Scary Farm have more charm, but that doesn’t detract from what HHN accomplished this year or in previous years. The maze design is top-notch, to be expected from a studio of this caliber, and I see now that some of my initial biases about the “robotic” maze scares aren’t necessarily applicable in all cases - for what they do I think the scare actors are giving it their all and delivering within their parameters. I just hope no one has to be Dr. Loomis again.

With that said, happy Fall to all. I’ve got a full season of tricks and treats ahead, and more reports on the horizon. Until the next one, I’ll see you in the fog.

The Fog Report - Knott's Scary Farm 2024

Well intrepid readers, here we are again. Another All Hallows’ Eve upon us and the real fear still yet to come. I’ll keep this particular report on the briefer side since my general rundown has not changed much from year to year, but suffice to say I would be a poor guide I did not take us back into the familiar fogs of Knott’s Scary Farm.

That’s not to say the event was not worth going to this year - far from it. Knott’s continues to be at the peak of immersive theme park haunts even in the face of rivals with bigger budgets and recognizable horror IP. That it still stands the test of time is an incredible feat and one put on with spooky flourish every year by the committed team of writers, designers, build crews, set dressers, techs, costumers, and of course performers and monsters. These people work their butts off and crush it without fail. This year is no exception.

The Event

In brief, the lineup remains similar to last year: 10 mazes, 5 scare zones, seasonal overlays for the Log Ride and Calico Mine Ride, 3 shows and some show beats in the zones themselves. The Legacy Store from last year makes a welcome comeback, as does the Into the Fog art gallery. There’s never a lack of stuff to do at Haunt, and the consistent immersion into a busy, frightening yet festive otherworld is what makes it continue to excel.

The interactive lanterns continue to be a fun staple, and the No-Boo Necklace has been quietly replaced by the similar (but cute) Fraidy Cat Necklace. The latter is a think a thematic good choice, as it did not seem to be met with the ridicule I saw at last year’s preview event. In fact, the little purple cat was a pretty pervasive sight on the nights I visited, worn particularly by younger guests or those who have never been before. Even with the upcharge I think it’s a great way for people on the fence to get their feet wet and give it a try.

While not a show per-se, one new venue this year is the Elvira Xxperience, appropriately located in the Walter Knott Theater which was the Mistress of the Dark’s old stomping grounds. It serves as a tribute to the long career of Cassandra Peterson’s most well-known role, both a museum of Elvira props and memorabilia and a place to kick up your feet and have a break while watching a rotating roster of Elvira’s past shows played on the big screen. I appreciate it for being a more low-key offering that one can come and go from as they please, and any Elvira fan will appreciate it.

Scare Zones

Ghost Town Streets, being the progenitor of the scare zone concept, doesn’t disappoint. Steeped in fog and complimented by the weathered old buildings, it’s a perfect backdrop for the hordes of twisted townsfolk and risen dead that make the place literally live up to its name. No real changes here because why change what has worked for the past half-century?

Forsaken Lake is as haunting as ever, dark and fetid and dripping with as much atmosphere as the moss that clings to the old waterlogged tombs. Their recurring funeral procession several times a night should be experienced at least once, helping inject a cool storytelling moment in the midst of the foggy demesne.

One of the bigger changes in the zones this year goes to CarnEvil. Every year it’s gotten closer to nailing a solid identity, and this year the clowns have all been given a major upgrade. Every clown that traipses along the midway now has a solid caricature and identity, many emulating jobs or careers in the way classic clowns were intended to as parodies of adult life. The sheer variety of clowns is fantastic, and makes for an amusing area where, as always, these carnies bring legitimate clowning to the scares. Bravo!

Gore-ing 20s is still one of the best zones for interaction in the park. The undead revelers and teetotalers kill it (pun intended) on the streets of Memory Lane as the jazz band and the Hotsy-Totsy Dancers steps up a few times a night to bring the energy. That they encourage the people on the streets to dance too makes it one of the show beats you don’t want to miss.

Last but not least, The Gauntlet gets a nice little splash of medieval decor as the revived zone from Scary Farm’s past moves into its second year. Helshire feels more present than ever and seems to really hit its stride this year. Better yet, the one dedicated slider show at the event is here, now given a nice thematic story tying the feats and stunts of the sliders into the twisted lore of the Gauntlet. I’m really happy to see this zone grow!

The Mazes

I admit, the main reason I write a lot of these reports is I love talking about the mazes, and while I’m not sure how many care for my preferential list, this is always the fun part.

Two new mazes this year replace The Depths and Dark Entities respectively, keeping our total at 10, a robust number compared to a lot of theme park peers to Scary Farm. Quantity here never seems to effect quality, and all of them are standout examples of scary delights, even if my biases say otherwise; there is no such thing as a bad maze here.

10 - The Chilling Chambers

I think my opinion of the Chilling Chambers has improved since last year, but not by much. It remains at the bottom chiefly because I still think the C3 section is obnoxious and the farting elephants are the fecal icing on that particular cake, but I still think the maze is a fine tribute to Scary Farm’s past and the good sections of the maze help it stand up on its own.

9 - Wax Works

Dr. Scratch is about to pack up his art and burn the museum down for the insurance money (or to cover his tracks) because this is the final year for Wax Works. This does feel like the right time for it to go, and I will remember it fondly for its grisly and demented themes of art, wax and plastic surgery.

8 - Bloodline 1842

More surprising to me is the news that this is also the swan song of Bloodline. My best guess is that the maze lost something of its appeal without the shooting gallery aspect, though in all honesty I prefer this current incarnation. Everyone has an opinion and they are valid, but I can say I liked both iterations of this maze and am glad to walk the streets of Valdonia one more time and genuinely admire its set pieces and steampunk aesthetic. It just feels like it’s being taken before its time.

7 - The Grimoire

Excellent as the Grimoire is, it still suffers from the ambitious storytelling, and even in its third year I still see a lot of people not understanding the conceit of the maze or grasp what exactly is going on. The lore is very cool and the way the themes are executed remain top-notch, but a lot of that requires looking into it. I’m not sure how this can be fixed other than hoping one wanders through and manages to witness every beat and cue; otherwise it’s just a black-and-white pastiche of locations connected by a campground and a book. I think it’s clearer than some give it credit for, but I think conveyance is important and the Grimoire isn’t quite there yet.

6 - Cinema Slasher

Now this downshift might be a surprise to some. “But David, wasn’t this in your Top 5 last year?” I hear you ask. “Didn’t you call it an immediate fan favorite?” Yes I did, hypothetical reader. And that’s still true. Cinema Slasher is a gem, nailing its premise and presentation while not being connected to any real movie franchise. It’s got great sets, good talent and overall a smash hit. So why did it drop a couple spots?

Simple: every single time I visited this season, the third movie screen was empty. That movie, by the way, is the one where yours truly (as Rip Tupman) gets brutally split in twain by a spinning saw blade. After all that screaming and fake blood thrown in my face, we enter the third theater and there’s nothing? My ultimatum is I will restore Cinema Slasher to the Top 5 once they bring back Slaughterhouse and fix this glaring error. Until then, it stay firmly at Number 6.

5 - Widows

Sunset Rise Nursing Home for Widows seems to be having an arachnid problem. Probably doesn’t help that cantankerous old Granny Gertrude is fed up with being ditched by her family here and happens to know a thing or two about dark magic. She’s opened a portal to the realm of Arachne, Queen of Spiders, and now the place is crawling with eight-legged horrors that inhabit the bodies of the old women, dragging the unwary off to the caverns of Arachne’s dimension for food or, worse, to create more progeny…

Arachnophobia is a pretty primal fear, and it surprises me it took this long for there to be this sort of spider-themed maze at Haunt, but it certainly delivers. Widows is an incredibly surreal maze, especially once you pass through the portal from the old folks’ home into the spider world of web-filled caverns. Corridors undulate, walls have glowing spidery eyes, and webs dangle everywhere. I genuinely got turned around in the maze and felt like I was going deeper and deeper into a Hellish netherworld. Creepy, clever and cool, Widows is absolutely a winner.

4 - Eight Fingers Nine: The Boogeyman

Here’s a fairy tale for you: once upon a time, a young orphan boy who was bullied by his peers fled into the woods outside his village. He would have perished if not for the seeming kindness of a wood sprite, who melded the boy with a tree and transformed him into something not altogether human. Unfortunately for the village, the boy did not forget the injustice brought on him, and with his newfound power began to pray on the people of the town by night. Those children who were cruel or mean would soon find themselves paralyzed in their beds, watching as a dark figure slowly gnawed their fingers away, one at a time, until only one finger remained. But soon, it wasn’t just the children who Eight Fingers Nine preyed upon…

Widows and Eight Fingers Nine are just about equal in my estimation, so its position boils down purely to personal preference. Eight Fingers Nine tells a definitive story, and unlike The Grimoire has zero trouble making it abundantly clear what is happening. Though the colors are subdued, there is a vibrancy to the maze that makes it feel like traveling into a storybook, and that’s where the cautionary boogeyman story takes over, following the process like you’re moving between the segments of the story and addressed by a rhyming narration as you go. This gives really good colonial folk horror vibes, and the scares within are varied and startling.

(And, unlike Cinema Slasher, you can see me in this maze through one of the Boogeyman’s many portals. If you happen to spot an asshole teenager harassing goats in a barn, then please don’t tell Eight Fingers where I am. I was just trying to, uh, get their goats. Get it?)

3 - Mesmer: Sideshow of the Mind

What can I say about Mesmer that hasn’t already been said in past Fog Reports? It’s twisted, dreamlike, chilling and unsettling and perfectly captures that macabre circus and freak show aesthetic. I may know it well, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying being immersed in Mesmer’s hypnotic patterns year after year.

2 - Room 13

Room 13 enters its second year with grace and sinister style, not noticeably different from its debut but as strong as it started. It ties everything in the Gore-ing 20s together and presents an overall picture of the fallen decadence of the area and the depravity the Devil’s Elixir has wrought.

1 - Origins: The Curse of Calico

I think this might be my bias for the Green Witch now, since this maze has been for Calico what Room 13 is for Gore-ing 20s and it still only just manages to edge out the previous maze as my favorite. That’s got to be the reason. That, or maybe I just love Origins for being an overall tribute to Ghost Town and the history of Knott’s. It is the ultimate example of how the story initially told organically by the monsters has become the lore of the event, and Origins keeps getting that legend across in the best way possible: by putting you in it.

The Shows

I’ve stated in the past that the shows were never my main draw compared to the mazes and zones, but I like to make sure I take the time during the season to enjoy them, as they bring on a lot of quite talented people that do amazing work.

The Calico Mine Stage still features the Carnaval du Grotesque, with its circus feats and high-stakes acts on full display to anyone walking by. The outdoor venue lends itself to letting the spectacle naturally draw people in, and is a great watch if you’re just pausing for a moment to pass by or committing from the begging to take it in.

The Hanging is still a mixed bag for me, as it feels like you need to be in the right mood to enjoy its irreverent pop-culture evisceration (figuratively and literally) and deeply groan-inducing jokes that are dated the moment they let them fly. It’s still one of the only places you’ll see a dedicated stunt show at Knott’s anymore - a fact lamented by many old-timers who remember when the Wagon Camp had them regularly - and I am happy it’s there if mainly for the sake of the people who are big fans. It’s just not my thing.

The third show at the Birdcage Theater is Conjurers, a rotating series of magicians and illusionists who bring their sleight-of-hand to Scary Farm. The night I attended had Johnny Ace Palmer doing some surprising close-up magic that is seriously impressive, thought I think Snowball the rabbit (pictured above) that he pulled out of a hat early on stole the show; she just kept chilling in the hat off to the side for the whole performance afterward! Joking aside, I felt like Conjurers was a pleasant and mystifying experience and that kind of magic is always worth a detour from your night’s terrors to enjoy.

Final Thoughts

Full disclosure, but I’ve now been working at Knott’s Berry Farm for the last three years and see it go through its many seasons and phases on a regular basis. As much as I enjoy my job, some of the charm and whimsy can get buried under the daily grind of being there, I don’t make a habit of visiting very often when I’m already there a lot of the time anyway.

But Scary Farm is the exception, because it is a legitimate testament to everyone I mentioned above that the place I work can feel so staggeringly different when atmospheric lighting, fog and roaming creatures are applied. It’s magical in a way that’s hard to describe, a transformation so simple yet so complete it makes my workplace a surreal, supernatural nightmare world when the sun goes down.

I keep coming back to Scary Farm because, more than any other theme park haunt I’ve visited, it feels steadfast in its ability to make the whole property an immersive Halloween landscape. That I can still feel that escapism is something I cherish in the face of so much existential dread in the world, and it’s weird to say when a place that is meant to scare you is somehow a familiar comfort.

That said, thank you for joining me on this sojourn, intrepid readers. Get out and enjoy the last night of October, and I’ll see you in the fog.

The Fog Report - Queen Mary's Dark Harbor: The Spirits Rise

Welcome back to the Fog Report, intrepid readers! Sometimes a lantern just isn’t enough to cut through the October murk, you know? Sometimes you need the help of a foghorn - perhaps one you might hear blasting from the peak of an archaic and haunted luxury liner. Fortunately for us, this October marks the return of an old favorite after a 5-year absence. The Queen is back, and so are its myriad spirits in Dark Harbor: The Spirits Rise.

In truth, the Queen Mary has been through a lot these last few years and is seeing a revival beyond just Dark Harbor. In brief for those not in the know (or anyone who would like a refresher - it has been awhile since I wrote my first Fog Report on it), she was a legitimate top-of-the-line Cunard ocean liner with an impressive, haunting history that now permanently resides in Long Beach. Having nearly been run into the ground by its original private company owners who were content to let it wallow in rust and neglect, the ship has been taken over by the city itself and genuine effort has been put into restoring and promoting this unique landmark. Several community events and temporary venues have appeared over the last year or so as public interest returns to the ship, anything from weekly live music at the Observation Bar to a Poe-themed theatrical speakeasy I attended earlier this year.

That uptick makes it feel only natural for Dark Harbor to also rise from a watery grave, this time under the management of Thirteenth Floor Entertainment, the folks behind Halloween attractions like the LA Haunted Hayride and Magic of the Jack O’Lanterns. For the past two years they’ve put on Shaqtoberfest at the Queen Mary, which I did not attend myself but was a mixed bag from what I heard. Dubious thematic ties between the ship and Shaq aside, I was holding out hope for a proper resurrection of Dark Harbor at some point. And those hopes were realized this year.

So, how was it? Did it manage to stir up any old ghosts for me?

The Event

A lot of what made classic Dark Harbor enjoyable is still here and still rings true in this newest iteration. The parking lot and port village areas are utilized for the bulk of the space, with occasional dips into the ship itself for a maze, bar or show. Five mazes are the main draw - three on the ship, two on land - while the rest is a mix of live performance, wandering monsters, fairground rides and carnival food.

Things kick off at 8:08pm properly with the Maiden Voyage showcase, the introduction that brings out all of the ship’s iconic characters. The gang’s all here, along with at least one new face and a couple of returning figures from Dark Harbor history, and it’s a delight to see them again. Once the monsters have been unleashed, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to bump into them as you wander the grounds… unless they come after you first! Talent is absolutely on point this year, doing what they can despite the often loud and distracting festival vibe around them.

Atmosphere-wise, Dark Harbor skews more toward that same party energy I noted in 2019, with the marked improvement that the majority of pumped music I heard was more electro-swing than pop hits; way more fitting for the ship’s heritage if you’re going to put in some jams. Choice bits and pieces of decor were recycled from Shaqtoberfest, but nothing that didn’t fit with the spooky ambience of a haunted harborside town or demented circus. I actually want to give big ups to the entry to Dark Harbor, which like in previous years wends through the village section with heavy theming and even grants a little peek toward the Breakout maze as a hint of things to come.

There’s a lot to do for the discerning patron, but keep in mind that most of those things are upcharge attractions, which is my biggest nitpick. While there’s always been extra cost content at Dark Harbor, The Spirits Rise felt particularly egregious in that respect. The now-abundant carnival rides, the private cabanas, Fast Fright, VIP packages, a Pirate shooting gallery and the like are all there and all with varying fees attached. It can absolutely be enjoyed as-is and I certainly did, but it seemed like there was a lot of little bits and pieces that were intended to try and coax a few extra dollars out. As long as you’re prepared for that, it shouldn’t be too much of an issue, and I don’t begrudge Dark Harbor for this; it just lends that added county fair effect that I think is more of a detriment to what is otherwise a very solid Halloween attraction, and the ubiquity of it felt a little overwhelming.

In that sense, my recommendation is to pay a visit to the Spirits of Dark Harbor, located on the ship. Visiting is free, and it’s a nice quiet(ish) escape from the cacophony of the outdoor spaces where one can take in ambiance and a drink. What I enjoy so much about this place are the informational placards set up that give insight into which myths and legends of the Queen Mary inspired Dark Harbor’s own ghostly creations, and transparent nods like that to the ship’s storied past tell me that the folks running this iteration of Dark Harbor haven’t forgotten their roots.

It’s also here you can get tickets to see The Summoning of Samuel, a 10-minute immersive theatrical show where medium Lady Mabel will attempt to conjure the spirit of Samuel the Savage and everything goes exactly as you expect. Though short, it is suitably intense if you’re looking for something with more thrills, making effective use of its space with bouts of strategic darkness and unsettling sound with surprise scares. At $10 a ticket, I’d say it’s something to seriously consider

Lastly, I’d be remiss if I forgot to mention that the “secret bars” are back, albeit in a more reduced form. There are two this year that I found, and tokens cannot be simply attained from monsters anymore, sadly. Charming as the idea was, it inevitably led to much of the talent being straight-up harassed for tokens in previous years, something The Spirits Rise has taken note of. Now you can acquire tokens (again, for a fee) earlier in the night, and a lucky few might acquire some through other mysterious means. Luckily for yours truly, a friend of mine I attended with happened to have acquired four tokens, getting us both into the secret bars; big thanks to Sandy for the opportunity!

Finding the bars hidden in the mazes is half the fun, so I won’t spoil it for you. What I will say is there’s one on land and one on the ship, with the latter being my old favorite Fathom 6 Bar. You’ll end up way down in the dank bowels of the ship, hearing the distant screams of those passing through Lullaby. The Witch’s Heart they serve there is quite good.

The Mazes

Dark Harbor: The Spirits Rise dredges up five mazes to experience, which is where the event is most put to the test against its preceding displays. Three are spiritual returns of past mazes in name and concept, while two are new themes. Besides the obvious advantage of the location in the case of the ship’s mazes, I think there’s a quality to the storytelling and the design that plays to the strengths of Dark Harbor’s lore, even with the newest pieces. These are where the legends of the icon characters can be told, and to varying degrees they work. I can already see some areas where there’s room for improvement, but for making a comeback after a 5-year hiatus, I appreciate the effort that went into them.

I can say with some confidence that the mazes at Dark Harbor make up for their quantity by being very long mazes, with plenty of twists and turns, ups and downs - especially aboard the ship. The term “maze” never felt more applicable to me than with Dark Harbor, as I legitimately feel like I’m lost in the metal depths of the liner and am surprised where we often end up. Accessibility could be an issue here, but I noticed at least in the landlocked mazes, consideration has been made for ADA compliance.

As always, my personal ranking of each maze is as follows. I stress that I don’t think any of the mazes are bad; the numbers are just pure preference.

5 - Feast

In a strange move, this version of Feast is a prequel to 2019’s maze of the same name. Going back in time from the distribution center once again, we see the Butcher as he hacks and cuts his way through the ranks to become the Chef we knew him as back then (or know he will be someday?). Tired of the attitude and disdain of the first-class passengers, the Butcher takes to discreetly killing and preparing them into dishes that the unknowing diners rave about.

I’ve written before how the cannibal theme is a very trite, but something about 2019’s Feast made it stand out more than this one. I think a lot of it has to do with the different footprint - the original maze eventually found you ending up in the boiler room and in the territory of Half-Hatch Henry, while this maze just meanders through dark and fetid corridors heaped with gory cooking motifs and complete with, in one bloody section, a literal fetid stench that I’m not sure is intentional or not that reminded me of a stale unplugged refrigerator. Otherwise, it is pretty much the same idea, without much present to make it feel like a prequel in my mind; even stranger is that the maze ends with a sign explaining that this is a prequel and that the story will continue next year, meaning it is literally spelled out for you!

4 - Big Top Terror

Set in the back of the Ringmaster’s Halloween Carnival, the Big Top Terror is one’s anticipated spectacle of circus sideshows and sinister clowns. It’s got the now-iconic ball pit, a mirror maze within a gigantic pumpkin, spinning tunnel and other funhouse gags with blacklight scenery to boot. Unfortunately, the maze lacks something that was present in 2019’s Circus - a certain feeling of traveling sideshow from a bygone era that doesn’t hit the same in this one, save for a few sections. I get the distinct feeling a lot of leftover props from Shaqtoberfest went into Big Top Terror as well, though there are earnest attempts to tie the pumpkin patch section in with the notion of this being a Halloween carnival.

That said, this ranks higher than Feast because the carnies and clowns in the maze manage to do the double-duty of being both startling and funny, where every jump is met with cackling mirth from both myself and the scarer. There’s no lack of monsters here, and they do a fantastic job being fun to engage with.

3 - Breakout and On the Run

The sequel to B340, Breakout (and On the Run, apparently) continues the story of Samuel the Savage, the murderous passenger who seemingly lost his life in the infamous stateroom. As it turns out, rumors of his death were greatly exaggerated, as Samuel has popped up in a prison in a seaside village. But they haven’t built a box yet that can hold ol’ Samuel; he and his fellow inmates have busted out and are wrecking havoc on the town. It also seems like Samuel brought his demons with him, since the place seems to be overrun with ghastly entities and undead creatures of a more Gothic bent.

This might be the longest maze of the lot, and that’s a good thing. It’s billed as a double maze (hence the additional On the Run title) though I just assumed it was one, and it’s hard to tell thematically where one ends and the other begins, which might just be splitting hairs but I digress. While I still dearly miss Intrepid which once occupied this spot, Breakout uses its location well, with the old-town buildings as a superb backdrop for this largely outdoor trail in the majority of the maze. It peters out a little for me in the back end once you get into what seems to be a nautical scrapyard and partitioned barn, but it kept my interest all through. It’s got a great manic energy to its cast, whether its frantic security guards, sinister inmates, eerie villagers or Samuel himself. If this returns next year, I’ll be very interested to see how it evolves.

2 - Infirmary

This all-new maze brings us into the realm of the Surgeon, the newest icon in the Dark Harbor mythos. Dr. Edwin Masters performed horrific surgical experiments on sick third-class passengers with impunity, but he didn’t work alone: his partner in crime was Graceful Gale, who helped lure patients into his clutches. Whether or not Dr. Masters was helping Gale try and build the “perfect man” in Soulmate remains unclear, but theirs seemed to be a match made in Hell until one fateful Halloween night, when the souls of everyone they had wronged returned to crash Gale’s first-class party.

Infirmary makes a spectacular debut and more than earns its place as a classic. From beginning to end it has an unsettling, disorienting feel as you wander deeper and deeper into the Surgeon’s demented workspace and see the results of his malpractice. It would not surprise me if the Medical Pavilion of BioShock was an inspiration for this maze, and that association is a welcome one. Great sets and scares in the grimier first parts eventually give way to climbing stairs to mingle with what’s left of the rich and influential at Gale’s Halloween party, complete with vintage All Hallows decorations and masquerade masks, giving the maze a superb narrative flow that I really appreciate. Plus, it’s just good to see Gale in a maze again, as her wandering spirit definitely needed a place to call home.

1 - Lullaby

Scary Mary is here to remind everyone why there should always be a life guard on duty. The tragedy of her drowning in the pool permeates this maze as you explore dingy, ethereal hallways rippling with soft aquatic lighting and dense shadows where you just know Mary is hiding. You find her several times throughout the maze, including barring the way to the actual first-class pool for a neat peek into the genuine inspiration.

While not terribly different from the past, Lullaby excels at quiet tension more than the rest. Long, unsettling passages through the dark and seemingly empty pool locker rooms with barely-discernible static figures tucked into corners give this maze a truly haunting atmosphere. This feels like walking through a ghost story, and it once again culminates in an distinctly unsettling set piece where you’re standing at the bottom of a pool while above you floating bodies seem suspended from a foggy surface. It’s chilling enough on its own, but because of that seeming emptiness each scare is suitably built up, and you never know when someone is going to jump out and capitalize on it. It’s very effective.

Oh yes, and the collapsing bridge from B340 makes a triumphant return here. Don’t miss it!

Final Thoughts

I didn’t think that after I wrote about Dark Harbor in 2019 it would be a half-decade before I could visit again, but I don’t imagine anyone is surprised in hindsight. It’s refreshing to see and experience, still hitting the soul of what Dark Harbor has always offered thanks to its location and vivid real-world history. Props to the maze designers and builders for coming out swinging, and the monsters for bringing such sinister immersion within and happy distraction from the street fair without.

So yes, I had a wonderful time and am optimistic about the future of the event. I’m understanding that there’s a lot of growing pains and adjustments for The Spirits Rise, which is off to a great start but still falls short of the peak it hit back in 2018 and 19; that’s to be expected, and was what I carried with me as I visited. This might be a excellent year to attend if you’ve never been before. And if you are familiar with what came before, take it from me: things are looking up.

Honestly I’m just grateful I get to return to this version of the Queen Mary and look forward to seeing what comes up next year - knock on wood. Thank you for joining me on this voyage if you made it this far. Be prepared to disembark, just mind the gangway and you should be fine. Be on the lookout for my next report a little later this season, and I’ll see you in the fog.

Dark Harbor runs select nights through November 2nd. Tickets can be found here.

The Fog Report - Knott's Scary Farm 2023

Happy Halloween! Or, er, happy Guy Fawkes’ Day? Now this is odd… I must’ve gotten lost in the fog. That, or I just had a lot to do this year, to the point where October was over before I’d had a chance to finish this write-up. Such is life sometimes.

Even so, I saw plenty of other lanterns in the gloom this year - seems like a lot of people attempted to emulate the Conductor’s beacon, or maybe they were looking for dark secrets in the mist? After all, it’s been 50 years since Knott’s Scary Farm (or Halloween Haunt, as it started) first appeared, and there were secrets aplenty to uncover.

I’ve covered Scary Farm on the Fog Report multiple times now, even to the degree that last year it was my only blog post about the season. While I still feel like my ability to cover various October events is still limited to what it once was in 2019, I’ll chalk my lack of coverage to my time spent preparing for Midnight Marinara’s 10-year anniversary finale. It would not feel right if I didn’t at least discuss one of my all-time favorites, and the event that I used to first step into the fog ten years ago.

The Event

Knott’s Scary Farm celebrated it’s 50th year, and naturally they reveled in their nostalgia and brought many classic elements out of the murky past while still pushing forward with sinister new attractions. No one rested on their laurels as far as I can tell, as this golden anniversary brought with it an excellent roster of 10 mazes, 5 scare zones, the usual ride overlays of the Log Ride and the Calico Mine Ride, and 4 shows. The Into the Fog art gallery was joined by an impressive Legacy Store offering anniversary merchandise and archived props and memorabilia, and interactive elements were hidden all throughout the event

One of the major selling points this year (and a hot one at that, as they sold out completely at least once) was the Conductor’s Lantern. These neat little artifacts were all set up to unlock triggered events all across Scary Farm, from the mazes to the scare zones to even a few of the shows. Those carrying a lantern might have seen its light change colors in certain areas, flicker and dim and brighten on their own volition, and cause show elements to activate while exploring; one example being a garden mausoleum in Forsaken Lake that took on a spirited mourning when a lantern was brought near. While the execution may vary, it presents something fun to deepen the experience, and on the plus side a lot of repeat guests would carry their lanterns on multiple visits. So even if you missed getting one, your odds of seeing one of the lanterns manifest something was still high as long as you were close by.

Another souvenir being tested this year was the introduction of a No-Boo Necklace. For an additional fee one can wear this to keep roaming monsters away, though it does not offer this protection in the mazes. I really like this in theory, as it gives anyone with trepidation about visiting the event a chance to, possibly, ease into it; the problem is, when the necklace was revealed at the Haunt preview event earlier this year, it was met with a chorus of boos and jeers from the crowd of Haunt enthusiasts. This product is naturally not for them, yet the attitude on display might give people who would otherwise be happy to give this a try pause for fear of being ridiculed. I sincerely hope those who get the necklace for its intended purpose found it worked out for them, and that no one gives them grief about it. I probably would have used it myself years earlier, and it likely would have gotten me into haunts sooner.

Ride Overlays

Like last year, the Log Ride and the Calico Mine Ride become the Halloween Hootenanny and the Calico Candy Mine respectively. Little if anything has actually changed with these attractions this season, which were used both day and night. I tend to skip these on visits and keep to the stuff you only get during Scary Farm, but they’re worth visiting during the day, in my opinion. Both have a fun Halloween feel to them, more whimsical than scary.

Scare Zones

The granddaddy of all theme park haunts naturally has some of the best scare zones. In my mind, these zones are more ubiquitous of Haunt than even the mazes - roaming freely around outside at night, through a dimly lit and themed environment choked with fog, as creatures and monsters prowl through the shadows. Now with the occasional lantern hot spot to make things more of a spooky scavenger hunt, there’s even more immersion in these already immersive zones.

Ghost Town Streets remains the fetid heart and soul of Scary Farm, still going strong 50 years after that first Halloween Haunt. The cursed citizens that haunt the byways among the ramshackle buildings are an incredible menagerie of old West archetypes as animal hybrids and undead creatures, many of whom are personas created by the performers themselves. Plenty have become iconic, and frequent visitors often go looking for their favorite monster in the fog to watch them terrorize (or be terrorized by them).

Nearby Forsaken Lake did not let up on the incredible atmosphere. With a slightly larger footprint and a couple surprise elements in its nightly funeral procession, the unquiet dead of the marshy graveyard continued settling into their dank little home. My hope is that we don’t see the lake reclaim the ruins anytime soon, and that they’ll continue to manifest here for years to come.

The midway of CarnEvil kept on its usual-but-appreciated shenanigans as a caulraphobic’s worst nightmare. Finding that right balance between funny, crass and scary is what these clowns do best, and no two are the same in their look or their antics. It’s still a wonder to me they can get so much mileage out of such a bright section of the park, and yet they kill it every year I’ve been. One nice addition was the roster of banners showcasing circus acts, looking akin to the posters outside of Mesmer. It’s a small thing, but the continuity is much appreciated.

The Gore-ing 20s was a big hit for me, now in its third years and really hitting its stride. Much like CarnEvil, this is a brighter scare zone than any of its neighbors, but the lost souls of Memory Lane handled this with more interaction and dialogue, making this the place to go if you want your scares peppered with storytelling. The jazz band returned on the regular, getting the whole street up and jiving; some of the ghosts rallied guests into joining in, and being part of a big creep-dance down the street as the band played “The Nightmare” by Artie Shaw reminds me why I love this event.

Meanwhile, over in Camp Snoopy, what’s old is new again. Where The Hollow once appeared was The Gauntlet, a reimagining of Scary Farm’s first scare zone beyond Ghost Town. The Gauntlet brought a fantasy/medieval theme to the area as visitors encountered the horrid residents of Helshire, a land where immortality has been achieved but at the price of no one being able to die. There were anguished peasants, warriors, knights, sorcerers and royalty looking to feed on your fear to keep the realm alive. Though the zone was light on props, it made a good first impression with its lighting (blues and purples instead of the reds and oranges of The Hollow), fog, eerie soundscape and its fantastic talent portraying horror at every strata of feudal society. I look forward to seeing how this zone evolves in the coming years.

Before I forget, it’s worth mentioning that the Conductor was not alone in his wanderings this year. The Green Witch could be found moving between the zones and commanding awe, respect and fear from the monsters. It’s good to see Sarah Marshall out enjoying herself.

The Mazes

With three new mazes joining the roster this year, the total maze count was the highest it’s been since 2013, if you don’t count the period where Special Ops: Infected occupied most of Camp Snoopy and was a unique combination of scare zone and shooting gallery. Some may disagree, but I maintain that Knott’s practice of keeping their mazes around for 3-5 years is a good thing overall. Places like Universal Studios can afford to tear down and make new mazes every season, but Scary Farm puts more overall “oomph” into their mazes knowing that they will be around for longer. There are little tweaks here and there, but for me its like coming back to relive old favorites while still being excited for the one or two that come in when the shelf life of others is done.

As always, I’ve got my personal hierarchy on hand. My opinions of a few have shifted, but it’s still just my opinion, and none of these are bad by any stretch. After doing this for nine years, I think I’ve definitely pinned down what my style is.

10 - The Chilling Chambers

Taking over Pumpkin Eater’s old stomping grounds, this is the quintessential legacy maze celebrating Scary Farm’s past. Named after the very first maze custom designed for Haunt - 1977’s “10 Chilling Chambers” - you’ll step into a cathedral that houses the remnants of the event’s history and meet their revolting Keeper, a not-so-subtle tribute to horror host Sinister Seymour who headlined the first Halloween Haunt in 1973. Passing through portals brings you to the “best bits” of years gone by, including The Asylum, The Underground, a pastiche of various clown mazes, a nod to the elegant vampire mazes, and Doll Factory.

The fact that this new maze is so low on this list might surprise you. Don’t get me wrong: getting to walk through segments of mazes I never got to experience is kind of awesome, with my standouts being The Underground, the vampire section and Doll Factory; not to mention the various fun nods and Easter eggs in between with the crypts, coffins and mask displays naming other Scary Farm mazes. What drags it down for me might be incredibly nostalgic for a lot of people, but The Asylum and Carnival of Carnivorous Clowns (or C3 as it’s often known) just come off as crude with gross-out humor, not scary. The Asylum is reliant on madhouse tropes that I think were outdated even when it came out, and the clown portion leans on scatological gags that make me roll my eyes. Do people remember the farting elephant butts wistfully?

It also feels a little strange that all maze featured (with the vampires being the sole exception) date back no later than the year 2000. I’m not sure if that was a conscious decision on the part of the designers, but I would have been interested in seeing some older mazes reinterpreted, since they have 50 years of history to work with. I still think The Chilling Chambers shows how far Scary Farm has come, and as always I think the talent working within is doing an excellent job (my heart especially goes out to the poor poo-keepers that have to hang out in the elephant room all night) but it left me feeling, er, chilled, I guess.

9 - Wax Works

This is also going to seem like a weird shift for anyone who follows this blog. I blame part of it on how often I had to walk through this maze as tour guide in last year’s Beyond the Fog, because it was frequently one of the only ones open to us during the day. I got way too familiar with its layout, and going through it this year found it feeling almost too familiar. I still think this is a fantastic maze with story, character and intense attention to detail, but I think the concept of the grisly wax museum has started to wear on me a bit. A small new scene has been added to the maze this year for some extra freshness, but in so doing undoes a wax museum gag I enjoyed in previous years.

8 - Dark Entities

The self-destruct sequence was activated for The Shroud and her infected crew, and she has been consigned to the cold void of space. I did kind of see this coming and think the timing is right for it to retire. Still, a part of me will miss it, and I’m glad I got to explore its corridors and mess with the touch pads that will no doubt cause unmitigated disaster one more time. It will be fondly remembered by this ACSEC governor (see the end photo from last year’s report).

7 - Bloodline 1842

This year brought a really surprising change: the guns are gone! Now you’ll find yourself fleeing the doomed city of Valdonia while the Daybreakers try to cover your escape from the bloodthirsty vampires. Certain parts of the maze have been reworked to better use the space once set up to arm you, and it reinforces the idea that you are escaping a township overrun. I feel bad for anyone who really enjoyed the interactive shooting aspects of this maze, but damn am I happy to be able to just breath the whole thing in and enjoy the immersion without worrying about my score. And there’s a lot to see and appreciate, from the detailed sets to the creative scares. It also solves the queue line gridlock and ensures more people are getting in faster, so in my mind it’s a win-win. I’m definitely looking forward to seeing how Bloodline continues to adjust to the change.

6 - The Depths

This maze was also consigned to a watery grave at the season’s ends. One thing I can say is it hadn.t lost any of its appeal, and still delivered on the feeling of descending into eldritch, nautical horrors. Like Wax Works, this also got a new scene, with the sometimes-used mine elevator becoming a neat little annex tunnel with optical illusions used to make the mine seem bigger and deeper than ever. Thought buried at sea, The Depths will not be forgotten.

5- The Grimoire

It’s all about timing with the Grimoire. I stated last time that one’s experience with this maze varies by what you experience, because this one feels very reliant on its show beats, even on repeat visits. The Grimoire is trying to do a lot with its story, and get it across in a way that feels organic. I genuinely applaud what it’s trying to do, but I still think it suffers from some blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moments as you’re moving through it, since some of its cues must be actor-delivered to make sense of the whole thing; if one of the characters isn’t there, it leaves a noticeable gap in the logical flow of the maze narrative. I still enjoy it, and I think most people do too, seeing how popular it is. I’m just not sure how many average guests truly get the story being told in this maze.

4 - Cinema Slasher

Who’s up for a little midnight movie marathon? There’s a Slasher of The Dark triple-feature going on at the old theater in the Boardwalk, with back-to-back screenings of Trick or Treat, Camp Gonnagetcha and Slaughterhouse! But wait… Didn’t this place burn down a few years ago? How is it still standing? And why does it seem like the movies are more, uh, 3D than normal? Oh well. At least we can go to lobby between films and grab snacks… provided we survive.

Cinema Slasher takes over where Dark Ride left off and it does not disappoint, quickly becoming a fan favorite. It manages to convey all the slasher movie tropes without having to resort to an established IP, imagining a franchise horror series that you literally walk through the screen and visit. Each section has its own vibe of slasher era as the franchise “evolves” over imagined decades, with a sorority massacre in the first film, a summer camp gone awry in the second, and a grisly warehouse of death traps ala early-2000s-horror in the third. Genuinely impressive sets make this one stand out, with legitimate “whoa” moments, and even in the theater itself the attention to detail is awesome, as between each film you step back into the space only to find it more and more decrepit.

I actually think this is an even better tribute maze to Scary Farm’s past than even The Chilling Chambers. Each film is an obvious homage to a past maze or rides, the movie posters depict other films in the franchise that are also references, and even the Slasher himself is a callback to The Dark, an overlay used in the old Kingdom of the Dinosaurs attraction in the 90s where a slasher was murdering people in the ride. You all know I’m a sucker for deep-cut continuity like that.

On a side note, I have a slight bias for the third movie. If one took a close look at the Slaughterhouse screening before you entered the film and you might have seen my breakout performance as Rip Tupman, brutally bifurcated by an industrial saw!

3 - Mesmer: Sideshow of the Mind

Mesmer remains in my Top 5 for its superb surrealism and dark carnival atmosphere. I’ve seen other haunts do circuses as clown-filled blacklight gimmicks too many times (see: the C3 section of The Chilling Chambers mentioned above), so any maze that leans more Something Wicked This Way Comes is going to feel like a breath of fresh air. Mesmer manages to be beautiful in its horror, thematic in its presentation, and still unnerving as all get out. I adore this maze, and am glad to see its influence seeming to spread into its zone just a little more this year.

2 - Room 13

From its inception, the source of the darkness haunting the Goring 20s zone has been the mysterious Devil’s Elixir, and now we finally get to trace to hooch to its source. Stepping into the Blind Tiger speakeasy (though not the one you normally see on the street - you’ll have to suspend disbelief a bit here), you end up seeing the aftermath of the Elixir’s effects on those that imbibe it as they run rampant through the Argive Hotel, slaughtering all in their path. Once you finally make it to Room 13 all will be revealed, but the answer might just make things worse.

This came very, very close to being in my Number 1 spot, and with good reason: Room 13 is a freaking vibe! I had no idea it would scratch an itch left over from the gone (but not forgotten) Dark Harbor at the Queen Mary, but it did. The whole art-deco style of the hotel is wonderfully done, with hues of gold, bronze and forest green to contrast with the glowing neon green of the elixir that shows up throughout. The place looks like you’re just walking through it in the immediate aftermath of a violent riot, and yet the tone has a more lurking menace. Extra points to the music choice, literally just a brush snare and a stand-up bass repeating ominously throughout the journey. From beginning to end, Room 13 kills it, and it may just become my absolute favorite in the future. But…

1 - Origins: The Curse of Calico

Even with how good Room 13 is, I still don’t quite have the heart to set it above Origins. Both have a near-perfect tie-ins to their respective zones, of course, and both are drenched in the kind of gloomy, thematic atmosphere I adore. Call it a bias for witches and the Old West, but Origins still holds its own with the way it showcases the tragic tale of Calico’s downfall and the mythical origins of Knott’s Scary Farm, setting only a smidge above Room 13. Even during last year’s tours it was my favorite maze to take people through, and that it holds up so well with the lights on is a testament to its design.

The Shows

Knott’s Halloween Haunt started with, primarily, a show as its headline event with Sinister Seymour. It seems only fitting that this year’s event had four different shows to keep the tradition going. I think all of the shows were worth seeing at least once this year, and each brought something fun and different to showcase.

Returning from last year, the Carnaval du Grotesque continued to impress on the Calico Mine Stage, allowing the spectacle to draw in crowds who might have simply passed it otherwise. It maintained many of the acts that made it fantastic last year, and still capped off with the death-defying Wheel of Horror act.

The surprise return of The Hanging: (Un)Cancelled caught a lot of people by unaware, including me! The decision to move the show and its universal lambasting and crude jokes to the Wagon Camp stage was a smart one, allowing only the most curmudgeonly to complain about the show’s humor since it was essentially behind a palisade wall - granted, people still complained, but Knott’s did their best. The show did a good job finding its footing, and while it still isn’t exactly my kind of show, I still respect the Hell out of its cast with their great stunt work and dedication to popping blood packs several times a night.

Dr, Cleaver Returns was a small, comedy magic show over at the Birdcage Theater, with the titular Dr. Cleaver, well, returning for some corny one-liners and bits of illusion. I appreciated the almost Vaudeville nature of the performance, and thought the cast kept the screwball energy going with aplomb. It never takes itself remotely seriously and with a breezy runtime, offers a silly reprieve from the horrors of Ghost Town.

Lastly, Monster, Music and Mayhem headlined the Walter Knott Theater and was an impressive musical ensemble and another tribute to the event’s history. The actual performance numbers were absolutely fantastic, each segment inspired by Scary Farm’s various macabre themes of the past, from Ghost Town to Jack the Ripper, the Doll Factory, Voodoo and a Hell section with some low-key risque dancing and a water curtain. All of the singers, dancers and set pieces were in top form and definitely sold the show, though in my opinion the comedy bits in between each section fell flat, again relying on crude and juvenile humor as the host “inhabited” the role of Scary Farm’s previous icons. They got laughs, but I just find the kind of comedy they’re pushing groan-inducing at best.

Final Thoughts

It’s fascinating to think that Knott’s was the progenitor of something so seemingly ubiquitous of the Halloween season as the theme park haunt, yet here it is, still kicking its way back from the grave and maintaining its status 50 years later. I’m pleased to see that the event keeps moving forward, trying new things while still at its core upholding the atmosphere I fell in love with ten years prior. That combination of innovation and tradition - the new improving the old - is what balances Scary Farm and has me coming back every year to step into the fog and into another world, dark and mysterious but so hauntingly familiar.

My hat is always off to the designers, build crew, prop sculptors, show writers, technical and lighting team and, of course, the army of monsters and performers that make Knott’s the kind of event that can last 50 years, and hopefully another 50 more. I’m already anticipating what next October will bring!

Hopefully next year, I’ll get more of a chance to look into other haunts and eerie events. Until then, don’t let the post-Halloween blues get to you too much, and I’ll see you in the fog.

The Fog Report - A Look Back at Knott's Scary Farm 2013

Happy October, intrepid readers! Yes, it’s that time once more, where I think about spooky stuff more than usual because everyone else is too. As is frequently the case, I get pretty nostalgic around this time of year, and almost more this time around: ten years ago this month, I launched a little personal project I called Midnight Marinara to try and build myself up as a writer and sound editor, and to explore something on my own terms. Now here I am about to sunset what became a huge undertaking that brought with it more opportunities, friendships, mistakes and lessons than I ever could have imagined.

With that in mind, another first for me was also going to Knott’s Scary Farm that year. It was me taking also taking a chance on something I had been loathe to try before, and I’m glad I did. And around the same time I had a rinky-dink little blog where I was just trying to figure my post-graduate self out. I wrote something up just for fun about that first trip and stumbled upon the text of it again just recently. So before I head into the fog again this year, I thought it might be fun to share what I wrote at the time: a trip report of Halloween Haunt 2013, without any changes or edits. Warts and all.

Look for more from me soon, but for now I’ll let Past David share his thoughts from October 31st, 2013. See you in the fog!

—-

As I’ve mentioned before in a previous post, Halloween is one of my favorite times of year, and pretty much all of October has become a way for me to experience it. I’m surprised I hadn’t written a post earlier in the month, after I had gotten a chance to watch the classic silent film “Nosferatu” in a historic cemetery, accompanied by a live band. Or how I co-wrote and helped shoot a short comedy-horror film about a haunted garage.

Nope, apparently I had to wait ’til All Hallows’ Eve itself to write this, because that’s how much I care. And really, I might have had a tough time getting to a post last night as I had planned, because I ended up facing and overcoming one of my fears.

I’ve always been fairly apprehensive, nervous about handling things I don’t know. And I startle easily, often not handling surprises very well if they’re sudden. So never in a hundred years did I think I’d find myself at the Knott’s Berry Farms Halloween Haunt, wandering through the fog-thick streets of an authentic old ghost town or stumbling through mazes while ghouls and monsters leaped at me from the shadows; despite my curiosity over these events, I always thought thought I’d look on from a distance, content to hear my friends talk about the scares.

But I went last night. And I had a blast!

I probably shouldn’t have been surprised by this, but I was. Still am, actually. I spent so long dreading the effect jump scares and loud noises would have on me in this environment that I felt relieved when it wasn’t as bad as I’d made it out to be; so relieved, in fact, that it seemed to liberate me and made the whole night more enjoyable for it. Let that be a lesson to you, kids: the anticipation is almost always worse than the thing itself.

So now you know I had a good time, so I bet you’re wondering: what did I do, exactly? And what did I think of it overall?

Well rather than break down my night event-by-event, I’m going to present my opinion as the ever-popular “Top X” list, from least to most. In this case, I want to list my thoughts on the offered mazes in this format, since that was what I came to see. But I also attended a show or two, and I’ll relate my experience with those at the end.

THE MAZES

First, I should mention two mazes will not be on this list: Delirium and Uncle Willy’s Slaughter House. I opted not go go into either of these, though I’m sure they’re both good in their own way. With Delirium, I don’t much care for the grisly and grotesque themes put in there, since the maze relies on unnerving and often disgusting things to frighten, and I’m not a gore hound; similarly, the Slaughterhouse is representative of the cannibal hillbilly theme, which I find tired and uninteresting, and not very evocative of Halloween. If you’ve been to Haunt and like these two mazes, then more power to you. I just happened to skip out on them.

I did manage to get into every other maze at least once (and sometimes twice) throughout the night, and my opinion of them is as follows:

8) Endgames

A post-apocalyptic trek through blood-spattered corridors, complete with chain-link fences, weird mutants, and death metal pounding in the background. The idea is that you’re making your way to an arena while dodging the attacks of your fellow combatants, in this case a cast of ghoulish gladiators. I didn’t get a chance to really take this maze in, partly because it’s appropriately stark for the setting, and partly because the cast was really good at keeping my attention on them: one woman kept stalking me through the arena, and I was so focused on her that I barely noticed the huge monster that was supposed to dominate the center of the ring. Again, great cast, good atmosphere, but not my favorite theme. I would have liked to revisit this one if just to see more of it.

7) Pinocchio Unstrung

I knew I was in for something twisted when Pinocchio’s narration played over the queue called the Blue Fairy “that blue bitch.” Apparently, the little puppet’s been denied his wish to be a real boy, and has decided to get the flesh he wants through other means. This is a macabre jaunt through classic scenes in the story of Pinocchio, from Gepetto’s shop to the marionette theater, Pleasure Island and the belly of the sea monster (which was a really cool looking angler fish-like thing on the outside), revisited by a bunch of evil puppets and the occasional donkey-headed man. Scares were good here, and I liked the theme, though it always bothers me when there’s an air blast in a maze (the giant Mr. Punch heads that flank the entrance to Pleasure Island shoot air at you as you pass), which feels cheap and annoying. Not sure why we never saw the Blue Fairy either, who I heard was in the maze last year.

6) Dominion of the Damned

I can’t fault this one for itself, and I would have liked to visit it again when I felt like I wasn’t being rushed through it. This is a very elegant maze, Gothic in tone, filled with classic vampires. It was too dark in places to really admire the detail, but some places I was impressed by the work done to make it feel like one was traveling through some sort of art gallery or museum run by the undead. I might have placed this higher had I had chance to revisit it and take in more, but it got really packed later on that night, so as it stands this is based on my first impressions.

5) The Gunslinger’s Grave

The Red Hand Gang made a big mistake when they tried to kill a legendary Gunslinger. They didn’t do a thorough enough job, and so he’s come back to wreak is vengeance on the town that harbored them. There’s no real ghouls or ghosts in this maze, only gunmen and townsfolk either pleading for help or looking to fight. While the initial story is set up well, I get confused about who’s who and what’s what in this maze – I don’t think its very clearly conveyed which of these characters is the Gunslinger, not even at the end. To this maze’s credit, the actors try to interact with guests, being ornery and threatening, but its hard to hear them over the blaring music. I think this is one where they could tone the noise down and it could be improved.

4) Forevermore

Of all the mazes, this is the one that genuinely spooked me the most. You follow the trail of the Forevermore Killer, who tortures and kills his victims in methods based on stories of Poe. There are a lot of eerie, elaborate sets that evoke Poe’s work, the most impressive of which is a giant swinging pendulum and a pit filled with water. The atmosphere is genuinely unsettling, and because I was so taken looking at the setups and being reminded of the work of Poe, I got caught off-guard all too often by plague doctor-looking maniacs – minions of the killer, I guess. One room is frustrating in that it plays a really obnoxious screeching sound over the whole thing, nails-on-a-chalkboard level of cringe-worthy, but it dawned on me that its a reference the light-and-sound sensitivity suffered Roderick Usher from “The Fall of the House of Usher.” Nice touch.

3) Mirror, Mirror

This was actually the first maze I went into, a way to wet my feet with the Haunt experience, and I think it was the perfect way to start my evening. For one, its literally a maze: a seemingly endless array of mirrors and arched doorways that look like mirrors. One gets disoriented and lost very quickly, and soon enough silent specters with gold harlequin masks loom out of nowhere, eerie but ever outright threatening. I later learned that the walls in the maze get moved around, and that you actually cannot leave until the time is right, at which point the specters point the way through the maze and guide you out, perhaps before you too are trapped like the,. The maze is the smallest in terms of space, but it feels massive in scope. I love it.

2) Black Magic

I’m a sucker for a cool setup, and this one is fantastic: Harry Houdini’s ghost has finally been contacted in a seance, held in an Art Deco theater on Halloween night. But he’s none too happy about his rest being disturbed, and he brings a posse of dead magicians and performers with him to torment the living. From the outset, this maze is well done in all faucets. The tropes of stage magic and illusion run rampant through the maze, from a knife-throwing act gone wrong to a set of spiked walls closing in; and the cast for it is top-notch and always in character – many of whom show obvious signs of how their failed stunts killed them. One woman in a Venetian long-nosed mask seemed to take great delight in playing with me, and actually followed me outside to continue threatening/poking fun at me with a knife, which I repaid in kind by interacting with her. Fantastically done, and I hope it returns next year.

1) Trick or Treat

This is the epitome of what I want in a Halloween maze, and it delivers. The premise is simple: Halloween night, you ring the doorbell of a witch’s house and step inside. And once inside, I was blown away by the staggering amount of scenic detail. The front room of the house alone is a feast for the eyes, with its multitudes of glowing jack-o’-lanterns sitting on the staircase and the hall running past an open closet, stuffed with shirts and coats, where you just know something is going to jump out at you. This one is a bit lite on scares (though I mean no disrespect to the Tricksters, the witch’s minions that add to the fun with their undead faces hid behind dime store Halloween masks, who never failed to make me jump) but that doesn’t bother me, because the immersion is so superb. It really feels like you’ve stepped into a haunted house on Halloween, and that in itself is key; to me, it evokes the spirit of All Hallows that is so often missing from other events. It captures the fear and the delight, the magic and terror, of the night when the veil between worlds is thin. Easily my favorite maze, hands down.

In addition to the mazes above, I also got to see a show or two. Elvira’s Sinema Seance had all the camp you’d expect from the Mistress of the Dark, and it’s good to finally see the woman herself live on stage, a great performer who puts on a grand show.

Speaking of performances, Blood Drums got me pumped. Excellent percussion on seemingly simple objects, and a good use of sanders and sparks to add character.

Finally, I ended my night with Carny Trash at the historic Birdcage Theater. This was a small show, put on by one talented old barker with a curled mustache that would put Dustin Hoffman’s fuzz in Hook to shame. I ended up being a volunteer from the audience, and for the whole show he performed all sorts of fun sideshow-style tricks with me as one of his sucke– I mean, helpers.

In the end, I already look forward to next year’s Haunt, and am glad I faced my fears head-on and discovered how fun and exciting such an event can be. But alas, I must go. Halloween night is coming, and I’ve got a party to run.

Happy Samhain, everyone!

The Fog Report - Knott's Scary Farm and Beyond the Fog 2022

What’s that you see, intrepid readers? A bobbing light in the dense fog? Don’t worry, it’s just me. Good thing you checked, though… It could easily have been that sinister Conductor I’ve seen roaming the misty byways. Seems we both have a thing for old oil lamps.

Either way, now that I’ve found you again, I’m happy to welcome you back to the Fog Report! Needless to say the last two years have kept me from truly delving into the Halloween scene as I’d like, and I’m sure many of you would agree we had more, er, widespread issues to deal with. Now with the fog’s return to the SoCal area in force, I’m heading back into the murk and reviving this blog to give my two cents on various eerie presentations October has to offer. And where better to start than with the originator of the theme park haunted event, Knott’s Scary Farm.

The Event

As stated in my last Scary Farm report from 3(!) years hence - which is still a good primer for the uninitiated - Knott’s has been presenting a seasonal Halloween Haunt since 1973, growing from a 3-night experience in that experimental first year to a juggernaut cavalcade from late September to Halloween night, still holding its own in the industry it helped create nearly 50 years later. Even when the pandemic shut things down in 2020, Knott’s found a way to keep the atmosphere going with their Taste of Fall-o-ween, which allowed visitors to wander a decorated park and sample different food fair without the scares, all while safety measures such as mandatory mask-wearing and social distancing were enforced. 2021 saw Scary Farm proper manifest again, its mazes and monsters and fog back for all to see.

This year brings us back to 9 mazes, 5 scare zones, 2 ride overlays, 3 live shows and an art gallery. Not to mention many of the park’s rides and roller coasters are also running. There’s a lot of options! Rarely is it daunting, in my opinion, and as before my advice is to know what you want to do before you go. I’ve found going on a Thursday or Sunday tends to help alleviate the crowds and, if you play your cards right, you should be able to experience most of what the night has to offer with relative ease; if you go on a Friday or Saturday, God help you.

Things have changed a bit since my last report, which is the nature of the beast. I’ll try to keep things brief where I’ve already commented on a maze or scare zone, but there’s some new bits and pieces thrown into the mix that I’ll expound on with greater detail.

Ride Overlays

In years past this was a staple of Haunt, even back in its first year with the “Haunted Mine Ride” and “Satan’s Sawmill” taking over their respective attractions. Gone are the days when these rides would have live actors hiding in the shadows and jumping out at your transport, but they are still given a spooky makeover that work during both the day and night.

The Timber Mountain Log Ride continues to become the Halloween Hootenanny, with its more lighthearted theming of creepy creatures getting together for an All Hallows’ jamboree with the Calico Coffin Creeper band. And starting in 2021, the Calico Mine Ride receives a candy coating as the Calico Candy Mine Ride. This one has an interesting twist in its “daytime” and “nighttime” variations: mostly handled with sound and projections, the more whimsical and cute journey into the candy mine during the day transforms into a much darker and nastier story about a child-eating Pink Fairy luring youngsters to their doom at night.

In my opinion, both attractions are best reserved for later in the evening, if you’ve gone through everything else or want to get a break. I personally prioritize mazes over rides, but these two are worth a trip following everything else.

Scare Zones

It’s hard to beat the roaming monsters and chilling atmosphere of Knott’s scare zones, now increased to five since 2019. In fact, like many things at Knott’s, we have them today because of a happy accident: in 1977, Bob Vernon found himself locked out of one of Ghost Town’s “peek-ins” where the monsters originally lurked. Hiding among the normal static figures in old West tableau scenes like the assay office, barber shop and sheriff’s office, these scareactors were meant to wait for someone to look inside the meshed-in windows and then startle them. For Bob, unable to get into his spot and with team leads unable to get him a key, this meant an unorthodox change of tactics. Bob was instructed to just “wander around and scare people” until someone could open the door; this worked out so well and generated such a surprisingly positive reaction that, by the next night, all of the talent were released from the peek-ins and allowed to stalk, creep and scare any guests that passed through.

Obviously this has since spread to other haunts to great effect, but Ghost Town Streets was where it all began. For many, going down the absolutely fog-choked Main Street for the first time - appropriately named “Fog Alley” by legions of visitors and monsters alike - is something of a rite-of-passage, showcasing the (un)living history of the event as Calico’s cursed ghouls and half-human/half-animal wretches slide and slither at you from every dark corner.

Over in Camp Snoopy, The Hollow brings one last year of Colonial American terror as it prepares to fade into the shadows. This is your final chance to meet the witches, scarecrows and shades that lurk in this gloomy woodland, and is a zone I will miss dearly. Whatever replaces this next year will have a tough act to follow.

Forsaken Lake isn’t going anywhere anytime soon thankfully, and remains a standout zone in its footprint along the banks of Reflection Lake. The regularly-occurring funeral procession is a show beat that I take time out of my night’s schedule to watch every year, and I recommend you do the same if you’re a sucker for immersion like I am.

The second-longest running scare zone in Haunt history, CarnEvil populates the Boardwalk with its cavalcade of cantakerous clowns. These might be some of the hardest-working clowns in showbiz, considering their conditions of no fog and bright lights, and I still stand by my conviction that their antics are way funnier than you would expect.

2021 saw the premiere of the last scare zone. Located in the Roaring 20s area, the Gore-ing 20s is a welcome addition to the lineup. Prohibition-era undead call this place home, including mobsters, flappers, newsies, teatotalers and Temperance movement missionaries. Spend enough time here and you’ll find that many of these lost souls are chattier than usual (though they still aim to frighten and intimidate), revealing that both sides of the alcohol ban are obsessed with an eponymous “Devil’s Elixir.” in some way. Best of all? Throughout the night, a live jazz band appears on the balcony of the Walter Knott Theatre and serenades the street below, accompanied by ghostly dancers. I wouldn’t say it is as traditionally scary some of the other zones, but the tone and vibe are excellent in their own right. Well worth a sojourn.

The Into the Fog art gallery is here as well, in the Factory Store. Great original pieces inspired by Haunt and created by people involved in the event, be they designers or talent themselves. Check it out if you like!

Oh. And one final note: keep an eye out for the mysterious Conductor. He wanders freely through every scare scare zone during the night, his lantern in hand, chuckling quietly to himself as he observes what’s going on. There’s been a recent push to make him a central character, and leading into the 50th anniversary of Scary Farm, he’s going to have a much bigger role in tying the whole thing together. This nice little touch of atmosphere is hint at things to come.

The Mazes

Not to much has changed since 2019’s report on the maze front, apart from a slight shuffling of my maze preference hierarchy. Quality remains a high point for the mazes, with their presentation and their craft constantly improving to match (and, in some cases, outdo) the rest of the industry. Knott’s has a reputation to maintain at this point, being the progenitor of Halloween haunts, and while fondly-loved old mazes like Shadowlands and Paranormal Inc. have since retired, new mazes appear to fill their shoes and continue to experiment.

Keep in mind the list below represents my own personal opinion. Everyone is going to have different favorites, and if yours differ that’s absolutely fine. There is not a bad one to be found, and I like all the mazes for different reasons.

9 - Pumpkin Eater

This year is Pumpkin Eater’s swan song, as Peter and his ghoulish minions pack up with the Hollow at the end of the season. Now feels like the right time, as while I do thoroughly enjoy the creepy factor of this maze, it is getting a little long in the tooth. Still, its Halloween vibes and grotesque pumpkin imagery win me over, and it remains one of the most genuinely unsettling mazes for its great use of darkness and disturbing sounds, all enhancing the talent that hide in the shadows waiting for you.

8 - Dark Entities

This one has grown on me during its run. I’m still not big on sci-fi during haunts, but the way the story of the maze is showcased makes it an exception. The creativity here lies in its conceit of being less about aliens and more about body horror - and this is easily one of the grossest examples of that. Every year it gets a little messier, with more guts , goop and viscera coating the surfaces of this doomed spaceship. Sadly, every year it also seems like it gets less attention, partly due to its location tucked way backstage from the rest. I have a feeling Dark Entities is next on the list to retire, but I’m happy to get a couple more years out of it.

7 - Bloodline 1842

One of the two new mazes this year, Bloodline 1842 drops you into the Steampunk-inspired city of Valdonia while it is under siege. Long thought eradicated, the vampires of the Valhymphri clan have emerged from the shadows and prey on the city’s mortals. Your family, the Bellatorians, have been called on by their fellow Daybreakers to bring this menace to heel and seek out the vampire king at the dark heart of this menace.

Bloodline is a marked improvement over its predecessor Special Ops: Infected in significant ways: better story, better sets, talent that absolutely kills it as both enemy vampires and allied Daybreakers and, most importantly, big pacing fixes. Gone are the constant military shouts to keep moving, and in are portions where you and those nearby are creeping through foggy streets or archaic steam tunnels at your own volition. The natural impetus to keep moving comes from the need to avoid getting “bitten” and allowing the hidden bloodsuckers to get too close, less it effect your score. That helps a lot… and yet it’s still a shooting gallery, which is not my thing. Redressed as it is, I still feel like I can’t take the time to really absorb the maze and its atmosphere because I’m too busy trying to play this real-life FPS. It doesn’t allow me to feel properly immersed. I would much rather walk through this without a gun and get scared the old-fashioned way, because frankly the design of this maze is really really good.

I’m definitely the odd man out here, as this will inevitably be one of the most popular mazes this year. Like I stated before, your mileage may very. I also allow it room to grow once it passes into future years.

6 - Wax Works

Dr. Scratch’s demented gallery of sculpted art is easily one of the most gross and disturbing mazes of the bunch - a hallmark of designer Daniel Miller’s work. Normally, overt and gratuitous displays of gore turn me off to a maze. Yet Wax Works impressed me with not only making the carnage make sense in context, but making it actually seem like someone’s twisted art in a disturbingly believable way. I suppose my aversion to gore is cheap gore, slapped up on most haunts because “blood and guts are scary.;” its all about intention, and Wax Works delivers.

5 - The Depths

Everything about this ocean-based nightmare is as strong as ever. Like Dark Entities, this feels like its getting near the end of its Haunt shelf life, though unlike Entities it seems to be holding up a little better to the wear and tear of repeat seasons. The larger-than-life vibe of many of these scenes makes it a winner, with segments like the “laser lake” of the Temple Courtyard and the rocking pirate ship near the end sufficiently keeping this a fan-favorite.

4 - Dark Ride

It’s time for one last ride, as sadly this delightful concept is about to retire. I’m seriously gonna miss it, its simple premise of walking around and through what seems like a once-functional carnival spookhouse executed stunningly. Getting the thing to feel both cheesy and well put together is a feat, and it’s obvious more effort was put into this dark ride than the ones you might see pop up at other county fairs, even with the intention to make it feel dated. Do not miss this one. Seriously. Final chance.

3 - The Grimoire

The second of the two new mazes. What starts as a peaceful summer camp out in the 1980s turns into pandemonium when three teenagers find an ancient book in an old tree house and make the mistake of reading it aloud. Now you’re stumbling back through time as echoes of the book’s corruption throughout history manifest as chapters, revealed in black and white. When (or if) you make it back to the present, can you escape the campground before your own soul becomes ensnared in the Grimoire’s pages?

The Grimoire might be one of Knott’s most ambitious mazes in terms of storytelling. Unlike other mazes where what its themes and stories are can be neatly summed up or conveyed through understood tropes, Grimoire is trying to spin a much more complicated yarn. The more nitty-gritty bits are told through queue-line videos and a show beat near the beginning not unlike Paranormal Inc. in seasons past, while the rest is done through color, visual and audio cues. While I personally think the conveyance works, and works very well, I understand that many guests have gone through this maze and come out the other side saying “I don’t get it.”

The tricky thing to figure out is twofold: pacing, as conveying the story requires a little bit of a stopgap, which leads to long wait times for this maze; and presentation, as sometimes missing or passing a specific beat in the maze will mean not grasping a certain through-line. Without spoiling anything major, it took a few trips for even me to realize how one thing near the end was connected to some beats earlier, which again was very exciting but took those repeated walkthroughs.

Time will tell how well this maze is received. So far, it seems to be right up there with Bloodline as one of the most popular, but that might simply be on account of its newness. I myself applaud the designers and build team for making something with this level of care, and hope this experiment continues. I want them to keep pushing the envelope in terms of immersion and seeing how to best execute high concepts like this.

2 - Mesmer: Sideshow of the Mind

A Dust Bowl-era carnival sideshow has laid stakes near the Boardwalk, and its mysterious ringmaster, Phineas Mesmer, invites you to explore a hypnotic realm between life and death. See, Mesmer has learned a disturbing secret with his technique: putting his subjects in a trance just before their lives end, keeping their souls trapped between their bodies and the afterlife. You’ll pass through the purgatories of the other carnies that have fallen prey to Mesmer’s control, all while trying to keep your own mind from shattering.

Mesmer kicked off last year and came out swinging. Beautifully surreal, the whole thing is a circus-themed trip through abstract environments and dreamlike realms inspired by freak show acts. I’ve never seen a maze quite like this, so committed to the notion that you are in a hypnotic trance, the constant whisper of Mesmer’s voice nearby as surprise after surprise looms: the simplest way I can describe this maze is like walking through a nightmare, albeit a gorgeous one. It never feels as intense as some of the other mazes, which makes sense in that it occupies the same footprint Shadowlands once had. And that’s not a bad thing.

1 - Origins: The Curse of Calico

Still unshaken from its perch as my favorite maze, Origins is my perfect maze. It tells a story with heavy, heavy atmosphere, it’s full of winks and nods to the rich history of Ghost Town and Scary Farm, and it ties everything together into one immersive package. I didn’t even have to do much soul-searching to keep this one on the top of my list either. It just rules! I hope we get to keep Origins for as long as possible - after all, Sarah Marshall needs a home.

The Shows

As mentioned before, shows have never been at the top of my list of things to do at Haunt, but I am glad they are available. The much-loved (or loathed, depending on who you are) annual presentation of The Hanging came to an end in 2019, and it seems doubtful the screwball skewering of popular figures and trends will ever return. Shows like Puppet Up: Uncensored keep the raunchy and ludicrous puppet improv going at the Walter Knott, and Conjurers - Dark Magic continues to showcase acts of prestidigitation in the Birdcage Theater with some spooky and funny atmosphere. But the newest show is what has taken up residence on the Calico Mine Stage where The Hanging used to take place.

Carnaval du Grotesque is a genuinely entertaining collection of dancing and circus acts, similar to the spirit of Elvira’s many shows done at Scary Farm in the past. While the pair of MCs for the circus throw some humorous banter and charming wit in between acts, this show is all about genuine spectacle, watching things like a hair-ialist, a fire eater, an expert balancer on stacked chairs and even an acrobat inside a spinning “Wheel of Horror.” The show’s outdoor venue means it can be viewed for a moment in passing and from a distance, or joined and stuck with for as long as there’s room in the throng of onlookers. It’s a sight to see, for sure. I’m glad I stopped to take it all in, and am glad to see these talented individuals getting the spotlight out in the open.

Final Thoughts & Beyond the Fog

If there’s any sign that the Haunt industry is recovering, look to the progenitor. Knott’s Scary Farm appears to be bouncing back well from losing a year in 2020, and shows no signs of slowing as it picks up where it left off. They continue to create and maintain one of the best haunted attractions I’ve ever been to, and as of yet nothing else holds candle to it. I’ll come back every year I can, and am excited to see what is in store to commemorate Scary Farm’s 50th in 2023.

But… Speaking of innovations, Knott’s does have one more eerie event this year. For the first time, a behind-the-screams daytime tour is being offered with Beyond the Fog, a 3-hour tour into the history of Scary Farm and a detailed walk through of 3 mazes with the lights on, letting you see every little detail and get all the cool hidden gems and stories without being interrupted by monster jumpscares. I’m happy to announce that I am one of the many tour guides for Beyond the Fog this year, and it is easily one of the best jobs I’ve ever had. While I can’t necessarily guarantee you’ll end up on my tour if you book, I am part of a really excellent team who I am proud to work with.

Shameless plug aside - and I only offer that last bit because I know people who read this blog might skew toward liking it - I’ve got a few more stops to make around the area this season, if all goes well. Thanks for joining me again. And hey, if you do end up getting into one of my tours, maybe I really will see you in the fog for a change!

Knott’s Scary Farm runs Thursday through Sunday nights throughout October and Halloween night. More details and tickets can be found here, and Beyond the Fog tickets can be found here. Additional photos taken by Katie Fleming and Angela Griswold.

The Fog Report - Mind's Eye Adventures (and Looking Ahead)

October is here again, intrepid readers, and welcome back to The Fog Report. I would be remiss if I didn’t pick up where I left off last year, even with the world a significantly changed place since the last time we stepped into the fog.

The impact the pandemic has had on the haunt industry has certainly been felt, and Halloween will be losing quite a bit for it. Gone this year will be walk-thru mazes, scare zones and most immersive theater experiences. But if there’s one thing many of us won’t give up, it’s finding ways to celebrate Halloween in creative ways, and many have adapted fairly quickly to the realities of life with COVID-19. Though I wondered if I’d even get to do these reports this year, now I can say I’ve opted into two or three experiences to see how seasonal entertainment is adapting to the challenge while keeping all involved safe.

For this season, we start with about as much distance as one can get: a virtual, interactive experience held over a video call. Shelby Bond, the creator of last year’s superb show The Shadow Space, invited me to “go on an adventure” through his new online endeavor, Mind’s Eye Adventure Party. Individually scheduled and booked, these adventure parties - for kids and adults respectively - are set up to bring groups of people together over a Zoom video call to engage in what is essentially a lite role-playing game, garnished with elements of a scavenger hunt and - in my case - a little bit of a quiz challenge with a team.

This particular adventure had us inadvertently traveling back in time to Scotland in 1743 and getting caught up in the struggle between the British and Jacobite rebels. Bond himself - in full costume and with a Scottish accent to match his screen name of “Malcolm” - served as our guide through this, playing equal parts narrator and game master. Through the roughly hour-long experience we had to dash around looking for household items that would help us in our quest, roll dice to determine the outcome of some experiences, and put our knowledge of Scottish history and culture to the test. Luckily for us, all of us survived and made it back to our own time intact, though I wonder how things would have gone if some of us had rolled badly.

Anyone who has played tabletop RPGs will find a lot of this very familiar, as it is essentially a more accessible and rules-lite game. The emphasis, however, seems more on trying to build a sense of immersion and fun. Everyone was called on to participate in parts but the experience was more guided and less full-on roleplay, which allowed for a decent balance between those who enjoy showboating (like me) and those who might be a little shyer. I thought Bond did an excellent job taking us all on this adventure and making it memorable, while rolling with a few curve balls thrown out by various members of the group. Costumes are encouraged, and while I brought along a tartan scarf and flatcap I didn’t get to use my flintlock pistol replica (though I did get to wrestle a redcoat to the ground and dispatch him with some martial arts, essentially).

All in all, I am very interested to see where things go from here. Other themes and stories are planned, including a Horror-themed experience beginning October 10th that will probably be of great interest to readers of this blog. If they hold up as well as this sojourn through Scotland did with a little imagination, I think these virtual escapades are well worth going on. Big thanks to Shelby Bond for having me on board for this adventure.

As for me, I’ve got a few other adventures planned. Stay safe my friends, and I’ll see you in the fog.

For more information, call (323) 524-8998 or visit the website, www.Adventure-Party.com.

The Fog Report - The Shadow Space

Happy Halloween, intrepid readers! We’re getting near that bittersweet time when the last night of October falls and all the excellent spooky stuff packs it up in the aftermath. Before the fog lifts, however, there’s one more eerie experience I want to talk about, one that takes a very different angle than the other attractions I’ve talked about this year.

The Shadow Space was brought to my attention while looking for immersive offerings for Halloween that don’t involve menacing scareactors or jumpscares. I’ve admittedly built up a tolerance to a lot of the frights that come with a traditional haunt, but for a number of years beforehand I couldn’t bring myself to go to one. I know people who love Halloween but hate the idea of being stuck in a haunt, where masked strangers intentionally try to get a rise out of guests. It’s legitimately distressing, and I completely understand how that can be.

Thankfully the hunt for alternatives in and around LA is not a difficult one, and my wife and I have made a tradition of attending many annual Halloween shows and immersive theatrical experiences. We are longtime fans of Wicked Lit (literary plays frequently performed in a real-life mausoleum) and Fallen Saints (a dark anthology series), and just this year visited the interactive exhibits at the Heritage Square Museum dealing with true crime stories of old Los Angeles. There’s plenty of escape rooms, spooky galleries and themed pop-up bars to be experienced as well. The plethora of options is comforting, and the more we dig in the more we find, which is always a good thing.

Yet The Shadow Space surprised us with something very different and uniquely engaging. It’s part interactive theatre, part immersive roleplay ala a mystery dinner party, and part puzzle-solving challenge. It’s a haunted house story turned on its ear, because for once you’re doing the haunting.

The main conceit of the show is that you are among the recently deceased, and this will be your first haunting. Luckily for you, a friendly association of spirits is present to help ease you into your new non-corporeal existence and explain the rules. They’ve invited you to a Hollywood house (one built in 1919, no less) to spy on and mildly flummox a pair of living couples having a get-together. It’s only as the hour-long experience progresses that you start to learn of the tangled web these people’s lives lead, and when something genuinely sinister happens, your role changes to solving a mystery and putting clues together in order to put things right.

This fairly simple premise, putting the ghosting in the hands of the guests, would seem difficult to pull off in theory, but The Shadow Space does this with well-established rules, small groups of visitors (no more than ten per show) and absolutely superb improv on the part of the actors. No living person in the house can see you, and the actors do an impressive job completely ignoring the guests, engaging with each other and the environment as if they really are invisible. It’s made clear by the always-hovering (pun intended) spirit guides that touching the living spells catastrophe, for both them and you, and so it becomes organic to move out of the way as they move between rooms. Considering the intimacy of the space, this can be oddly tense at times, with guests stumbling out of the way as they try to eavesdrop yet maintain a fair distance.

Of course, they do react to changes in their environment, which is where the escape-room like elements kick in. Lights can be flicked on and off and certain objects that exist “between worlds” (revealed to be colored under black light flashlights) can be picked up and moved by guests. In the beginning this can be used for comedic effect - one of our group was clearly enjoying being a troll, constantly flicking lights and blowing on the back of the living’s necks, with them commenting on the faulty wiring and wondering where the draft was - but soon becomes a strategy for gathering information. Hiding objects from the living or placing key items in their path while they’re distracted becomes a matter of timing, since the guides state that the living seeing the objects simply appear and disappear would frighten them. As a group, sharing information, dividing and conquering to follow the action or solve puzzles, and deciding when to be discreet and when to cause incidents is the challenge. In the end, success or failure in solving the mystery comes down to how well the group worked together.

I‘m genuinely impressed by how well-craftedThe Shadow Space is. Engaging, tense and exciting without being outright scary, it draws you in through its setting and storytelling, making you feel like a ghost purely by suspension of disbelief. I cannot commend the actors enough, both the living and our guides, for equal parts making sure things went smoothly and rolling with the choices of the guests, all while most of them had to pretend we weren’t there. I’m sure there’s the possibility for hiccups here and there, but the night I went everything ran smoothly, and my group was able to successfully solve the mystery. It’s stellar work all around, and well worth checking out if you get the chance.

I sincerely look forward to future iterations of this experience, if there are more planned. This year’s run is wrapping up, but if it returns in some capacity next year, I think I have another Halloween tradition on my hands. My first crash-course in haunting certainly left me wanting more.

Happy haunting, and I’ll see you in the fog.

The Shadow Space runs select nights until November 3rd, with two shows nightly. More details and tickets can be found here.

The Fog Report - Los Angeles Haunted Hayride 2019

Welcome back, intrepid readers! The season is drawing to a close but that hasn’t deterred me from hitting a third haunted locale, although in this one the haze you’re walking through is less fog and more kicked-up dust. Probably has something to do with that weird-looking fairground tucked away in the trees there…

Started in 2009, the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride has taken up residence in Griffith Park, in and around the grounds of the Old LA Zoo. Already a fairly eerie place with its trails past abandoned enclosures and cages, the Hayride has consistently utilized the environment to create terrifying tableaus and vignettes, seen and experienced from a tractor-pulled trailer - something done for Halloween in many other parts of the country but a relative oddity in the big city. Though its themes have shifted and changed over the years, this year new owners Thirteenth Floor Entertainment have given the Hayride a unifying story and a setting from which to place their event: a cursed town called Midnight Falls.

Anyone who has read my last two articles about Dark Harbor and Knott’s Scary Farm (or who just knows me in general) should guess why this alone finally pulled me to the event. This was my first ever visit to the Haunted Hayride, so my expectations were not so effected by previous years; it’s all fresh eyes and raw opinion here.

The Event

Before I even get to the venue itself, can I just say how enjoyable just the walk there was? Unless you’re parked in one of the upper lots, you’ve got a little bit of a trek through a nighttime park ahead of you, and I wasn’t kidding earlier when I said this was “tucked away.” in the wilderness. The natural darkness and night noises certainly helped me get into the mood as I trudged up the path and saw the flickering orange glow in the distance.

Once you do get there, you find yourself in the town square of Midnight Falls in the midst of its 13th annual Halloween Festival, 1985. The Hayride itself, as well as three mazes, several concessions and a handful of slight-up charge escape rooms can all be accessed from here, but as a zone in itself the town square is well worth wandering around in. The roaming monsters - townsfolk who have been cursed but seem to be in good spirits - are more interactive and funny than outright scary, engaging visitors with humor and giving Midnight Falls the character of a cheesy 80s horror-comedy. Each character is an archetype of the era and each is a very distinct, from a jock werewolf to a hook-nosed Miss Midnight Falls to a snappy goblin server from the local diner (hi Reggie!), just to name a few of the myriad citizens.

This feels like a genuinely happy medium between the heavy thematic elements of Knott’s and the party atmosphere of Dark Harbor. You’re at an in-universe fair, and they play that up without it detracting from the scarier elements. It certainly evokes the spirit of a local Halloween: I spent a good chunk of my teenage years in the small mountain town of Idyllwild, and they also have (had?) a Halloween carnival, so I can say big props for reminding me of that feeling. Couple that with the amount of atmosphere and the commitment of the actors in their improv with guests and each other, and you have a nicely immersive, if tongue-in-cheek, experience.

It’s also good to know that the event is small, considering what it actually offers. The night I visited I managed to get there right around opening and was able to get through most everything in two hours. That doesn’t mean its not worth visiting, but don’t expect a marathon session like a theme park haunt.

The Hayride

As stated before, the hayride is the namesake and main draw of the event, a chance for Angelenos to board a hay wagon (and sit in real honest-to-goodness hay) and take a ride through the Old Zoo, now the outskirts and foothills of Midnight Falls. This attraction is presented as a sort of weird origin-story, demonstrating how the land fell under the Halloween hex and riders in the midst of it happening.

This is a wholly different kind of trip than one would make on foot through a maze, and is a proper ride in every sense, with each scene being staged in such a way that it only transpires as the hayride passes. The main ingredient is the live actors lurking in the dark that rush at the trailer and menace the riders, usually after a theatrical beat in a scene plays out, I’d never done anything like this before and it was honestly impressive, each scene having its fair share of startling surprises: highlights for me were a ghostly girl leaping from a cliff (possibly reenacting a suicide), a werewolf gang unleashed from some of the old animal cages, a amorous couple in a convertible being mauled by a Sasquatch, a close encounter with a ghost train, and a giant spider emerging from a stone structure.

I wasn’t able to take any picture while on the hayride, mainly out of respect for not ruining the moment and trying to present for it. Trust me when I say that even if the scenes seem a little cheesy, the fact that they’re part of this spooky hayride experience makes it fun. I actually feel like this is a decent entry point for people leery about going to a haunt, as it struck me as being less intense than being in the midst of a maze. Pro tip for first-timers: sit in the middle. The folks on the left and right get all the attention, so the heat’s off if you stick to the center.

The Mazes

As an added bonus, Midnight Falls has three mazes as part of its spooky neighborhood. Each is fairly short but exceptionally well put together for something built in the middle of Griffith Park, and I walked away from each fairly impressed.

The first maze I visited, Midnight Mortuary, takes you through the town’s funeral home, its backyard, morgue and chapel. The monsters here are a mix of the ghoulish staff and some goat-masked figures in white robes; perhaps a cult of some kind? More Victorian Gothic than grisly and gory, creative use of space and good set design are strong in this maze, and the startling finale helps put the random goat-people’s presence into perspective.

My favorite maze was definitely Trick or Treat, simulating a trip through a Midnight Falls neighborhood where every house has a resident surprise. This outdoor maze is unique because anyone visiting can actually ring the doorbells of the houses to see what wacky scare emerges. Since almost all the scares are guest-driven, the reward for courage comes when most of the monsters give you real candy! It’s a cute detail, and it really plays on the horror-camp and the tropes of Halloween: my favorite bit is the Devil-themed “home haunt” at the end that looks like some earnest kid built a strobe-light maze through their yard and garage. Big props for creativity.

Rounding out the three is Roadkill Ranch, ensuring no meat goes to waste in Midnight Falls… because if it’s good enough for your tires, it’s good enough for their fryers. While the effort was there, I’m personally very tired of the bloody Hellbilly theme for mazes as a whole, so this one did not really impress me. It did have some choice scare moments and a good strawbale layout in the back of it, making you weave through while masked ranchers hid in the dark, but I just think the trope has been done to death.

Final Thoughts

Though small in stature, the LA Haunted Hayride is big on personality and dark charm, offering a main attraction that isn’t offered anywhere nearby and a collection of scary sides to go along with it. The overarching setting of Midnight Falls is a huge boon to the event, and I hope it sticks around for the foreseeable future, along with its cast of characters. I’d love to see what they can add to it if it continues to expand.

What gives this an edge for me and makes it stick out, even from its larger competitors, is the festive quality of the Hayride. Halloween is not just the backdrop of the season here for spooky stuff, it’s positively dripping with Halloween flavor. Not many haunts actually make the holiday their front-and-center, and I’m super grateful that this does. It’s hard not to feel spirit (pun intended) of All Hallows Eve here, and I didn’t realize how much I missed that kind of vibe until I was there.

If you’re local and you can make it, the LA Haunted Hayride is worth a visit. Come kill a couple hours here and feel a bit of that Halloween magic, both terror and humor - trick and treats, if you’ll pardon the expression. And hey, if you’re not anywhere near LA, go see if anyone near you is doing a haunted hayride. It might help kindle that jack-o’-lantern flame in your soul too.

Anyway, I’ve got a lot of Midnight Falls dust to brush off my clothes. Until next time, I’ll see you in the fog.

The Los Angeles Haunted Hayride runs most nights in October and every night during the last week until November 2nd, from 7 to 10:30 or 11pm depending on the night. More details and tickets can be found here.

The Fog Report - Knott's Scary Farm 2019

Hail and well met, intrepid readers! I can barely make you out through all this fog, but for a moment I thought you were some grisly monstrosity sliding up on all fours to spook me. This edition finds me returning to the granddaddy of all haunts, a place so choked with exhaled fog juice that I’m sure I’ve gone home with my clothes smelling faintly of the stuff for some time after.

It’s hard to picture anything that’s had the longevity of Knott’s Scary Farm, and that’s likely because it is the progenitor of these kind of events. Having started in 1973 and only upping the ante ever since, Knott’s Scary Farm transforms America’s oldest theme park into a dark haunting ground every Halloween season. It’s a first in so many ways, especially for me: I finally faced my inherent aversion to jumpscares in 2013 and crossed the threshold into haunted attractions here; from that night onward I’ve never looked back. It certainly gave me a benchmark for what a quality haunt should look like, and having survived that, made me feel brave enough to visit other events around it, immersing me in even more Halloween goodness.

I will do my best not to be biased, but I’ll be honest right away: Knott’s has consistently been my favorite of all the haunted attractions I’ve visited, and this year (so far) is no exception. I’ve already been multiple nights, and will probably go a few more. It’s hard to top what Scary Farm offers, and the offerings are good this year.

The Event

Come nightfall on select nights, Knott’s Berry Farm transforms into a murky landscape that contains nine mazes, four scare zones and several live shows. Consider that many of their rides and roller coasters are open and running during the event and there’s a lot to do here. Thankfully I’ve never found it overwhelming, but knowing what you want to prioritize before you go is definitely helpful, especially if you’re only going one night.

Meanwhile, the Timber Mountain Log Ride gets a Halloween makeover, the Halloween Hootenanny. The Scary Farm version used to have live actors hidden among the animatronics and props, but that hasn’t been the case for the past couple years, most likely due to safety concerns. Still, the ride is fun and the overlay is well-done, intended to be creepy and silly rather than scary since it also runs during the day. You will get wet, so ride at your own risk!

The Scare Zones

Moreso than any other haunt I’ve been to so far, nothing beats Knott’s in terms of its unique scare zones. One thing you will find just about everywhere is atmosphere. As I noted before when I wrote about Dark Harbor, I’m a sucker for anything that keeps a consistent theme and Scary Farm delivers. With the exception of the Dia de Los Muertos-themed dance party in Fiesta Village - which I imagine is a welcome reprieve for some who need a break from the scares - every part of the park is dripping with mood and tension, keeping the tone throughout even as the overall theme changes with each scare zone. Lighting, background ambiance and music, fog (of course there’s fog), spooky decor and, naturally, the prowling street monsters all contribute to the immersion. It does help that Knott’s utilizes the existing themes of its lands and gives them a Halloween overlay, but my hat’s off to them for eschewing the party vibe that Dark Harbor has with its exterior, because this is what I prefer.

The classic Ghost Town Streets is a mainstay of the event and the harbinger of so many haunt firsts that have since spread to other parks across the country, from the area itself to the innovation of “sliders” - monsters that glide across the ground on metal knee and elbow pads and suddenly spring up out of the fog at you. An aspect I really appreciate about this year’s Scary Farm is the commitment to an overarching story, which is something I crave at these events. Tying the Streets, the new Origins maze and Scary Farm’s icon, the Green Witch, all together is the legend of a witch hanging gone awry, leading to the town of Calico being cursed and its citizens transforming into hideous monsters or rising from the grave as wretched ghouls. You’ll find Wild West archetypes roaming the byways of the misty town, each with their own macabre transformation.

Another unique take on a scare zone comes with The Hollow over in Camp Snoopy. Haunted by scarecrows, goblins and shades dressed in Revolutionary War attire, there’s a definite Sleepy Hollow vibe to this area despite the lack of a Headless Horseman (who did occasionally appear in previous years along the Stage Coach trail). What sets this zone apart is the interactive portions, where during the night an ongoing battle between the resident coven and a group of witch hunters hits various story beats and ends with a final confrontation and the burning of a wicker man. Guests can be pulled into this conflict and can play agents for the hunters or the witches, in some cases earning small trinkets for their efforts. While the outcomes of the overall story is the same, it’s genuinely fun to have some face-to-face encounters and to play with these characters.

The newest scare zone, Forsaken Lake, enters its second year with macabre gusto and an expanded footprint. You’ll find a half-flooded cemetery full of Victorian undead and elegant Angels of Death, who every so often congregate into a funeral procession to the tune of “The Hearse Song.” This is a beautifully Gothic area and one with a lot of great talent, standing on its own among its older established peers. Even with no maze in its jurisdiction, its absolutely worth passing through or staying to watch the funeral when it happens. I know I often stop there to pay my respects.

Last but not least, CarnEvil takes over the Boardwalk. It’s all clowns here, and I know a lot of people think scary clowns are a tired attempt at scares, but these clowns are way funnier and more entertaining to watch than any other clowns I’ve seen. Well-lit as the Boardwalk is, they have to work extra hard to get the frights across, and every time I see them they go at it with a mixture of creative aplomb and genuinely funny antics. My hat’s off to them.

The Mazes

There used to be a running joke among older folks I know, people who have attended Scary Farm throughout the years, about the dubious quality of Knott’s mazes. Those days seem to be long gone, no doubt due to Knott’s hoping to keep up with its other theme park competitors, and the quality of the mazes just seems to elevate with each batch of new mazes. And it’s hard to beat the number - 9 in total, with two brand new mazes.

I certainly appreciate the way Knott’s handles its mazes each year, which stick around for 2 to 4 years at most before retiring to make room for something new. This gives them a healthy longevity without them overstaying their welcome, building anticipation for the handful newcomers each season. Interestingly, this is the first year I’ve been to Scary Farm where hasn’t been a maze I went in on my first night in 2013. My personal favorite, Trick or Treat, finally vanished last year after a staggering 7 years running!

As before, I’m running the list of mazes from least to most favorite in my humble opinion.

9. Special Ops: Infected

Now in its confirmed final year, Infected presents a different experience compared to the other mazes. You are given a electronic gun and, in something like a one-sided laser tag, are sent running through a zombie-infested city, shooting at the undead and earning points as you go. You’ll need to stay far enough away from the zombies that you don’t get take damage, and must find the source of the infection after hustling through several ruined buildings, a metro rail and a toxic sewer.

To be honest, this one has never been very high on my list from its inception. I understand the concept of being able to fight back against the monsters is exciting, and the gaming aspect definitely appeals, Infected falls flat for me for a number of reasons. Zombie apocalypse themes are an incredibly dull trope for me at this point, and it doesn’t help that I’m constantly being yelled at to move by Special Ops personnel, never giving me the time to properly take in the frankly impressive set design of the ruined city and the places you battle your way through. If you plan on doing this while at Knott’s, do it early in the night and get it done, because it also backs up very badly as the night goes on.

All of these factors come together to make it a maze I’ve never been a fan of. I’m glad this is retiring so we can see what new innovations take its place.

8. Dark Entities

You are part of a reconnaissance team teleported aboard a derelict starship to find out what happened to the crew. Naturally some alien virus has breached quarantine and is rapidly mutating the surviving life forms on the ship into grotesque abominations. Now your goal is to get back off the ship before you go down with it and its tainted cargo.

While perhaps a little on-the-nose with its homages, being a sci-fi maze with elements evoking Alien and John Carpenter’s The Thing, Dark Entities is well-designed and has memorable moments and scares. The gore factor has been turned up in the maze’s second year, with a lot more grisly details around the ship and especially in the medical bay scene, positively dripping with entrails and tendril-infested cadavers. There’s also some very impressive lighting design in Dark Entities that is utilized to give the scenes the feel of a spaceship, particularly in one corridor where a series of traveling, strobing wall lights make it feel like the lift hill in Space Mountain at Disneyland. The only reason this is as low on the list as it is comes less from its presentation and more from my general feelings about this kind of sci-fi horror.

7. Shadowlands

Japanese myths and ghost stories inspire this maze, which is also in its finale year at Scary Farm. In previous years a preshow made the case that you were on the trail of a doomed samurai whose path you followed through a shadowy afterlife, though now its a little less clear, as you simply enter a nighttime forest of hanging corpses and, from there, journey through bleak villages, shrines and temples occupied by various bakemono and evil spirits.

Shadowlands is a beautiful maze, much quieter and more subtly haunting than its neighbors, which makes the sudden scares all the more startling. I’ve really enjoyed this maze through all of its seasons, though I feel its starting to show its age. I hope this kind of low-key eerie atmosphere can be replicated in whatever comes next, because it’s fairly unique and something I feel the event needs to break up the more intense mazes. Still, Shadowlands had a good run, and it will be missed.

6. Pumpkin Eater

Tying in with the story of The Hollow, you enter a Colonial village where the murderous Peter has been wreaking havoc, having killed his wife and buried her remains in his pumpkin patch. Now transformed into a creature for his deeds thanks to the resident coven, Peter continues to haunt the ruins of the village, harvesting pumpkins (and people) to make his pies.

I think this might actually be the creepiest of the mazes. The darkness, surreal atmosphere and amount of hanging stuff you have to push through lend a nightmarish, lurking tension to the experience, and I love it. The Colonial Gothic and Halloween vibes in this maze are strong, the latter being important to me since at least one of the mazes should feel like Halloween. I mean, what other maze has you walk through the cavernous innards of a giant rotting pumpkin, pushing stringy bits and dangling seeds out of the way as jack-o’-lantern-faced horrors lie in wait? Very, very good.

5. Wax Works

One of the two new mazes making its debut this year, Wax Works sends you through a burned-out wax museum where its curator, Dr. Augustus Scratch, has been very busy trying to perfect his wax creations with a little help from the hapless people who enter. Looks like the doctor’s pieces are truer to life than anticipated, since they’re keen on helping him make his masterpiece.

The one of the new mazes for 2019, I was presently surprised with how detailed Wax Works was considering. I’m not sure what I expected, but the execution made it clear to me that this was not just an homage to Vincent Price’s House of Wax. It’s visually impressive, from the facade to the interactive museum displays (there’s buttons you can press in the maze that bring up pre-recorded messages about what you’re seeing - a nice touch, if you’re not too worried about a waxen thing getting all up in your grille), the room with the bees and the inner wax works themselves with the giant cauldrons. It’s grown on me very quickly and I look forward to seeing what little tweaks happen here and there as it settles into its new mold.

4. Paranormal Inc.

Drawing inspiration from those hokey Ghost Hunters-esque reality shows, this maze puts you in the abandoned Hayden Hill Sanitarium for a live taping of Paranormal Inc. An elaborate and impressive preshow sees all Hell literally break loose as the team disturb the spirits of the asylum, forcing you to flee through the dilapidated halls as angry ghosts and demons make their presence known.

As a complete self-contained narrative, Paranormal Inc. is a real feat of haunt storytelling, using its setting, preshow and cues throughout the attraction to help tell the story cleanly and concisely all while managing to pack in branching paths, taking you through different parts of the asylum before meeting up again. It also has a fantastic intense energy to it, making it feel like the finale of a supernatural thriller ala the remake of House on Haunted Hill where the evil is there, present and furious. Furthermore, it has some of the most creative scares of the mazes and an absolutely phenomenal ending that I won’t spoil here (at least, not this year).

3. The Depths

The Night’s Watch mining operation might have dug too deep in the sea caves, because they’ve opened a path to an ancient, aquatic world no surface-dwelling being was meant to know. Eldritch abominations from the darkest oceans lurk here in the meandering tunnels, an ancient temple where you wade through waist-deep “water” (an impressive effect of lasers and fog) and a long-forgotten pirate ship wrapped in the arms of a gigantic octopus.

This maze has been in my Top Three since its debut and has not been shaken yet. Fans of Cthulhu mythos and nautical horror are going to get a kick out of this maze, and seeing as I very much enjoy both, this is a double-win. It’s worth it alone just for the absolutely gorgeous set design, with enough varied rooms and chambers to keep one guessing what sea-based horror they’ll meet next while keeping the path consistent. The aforementioned octopus and swaying shipwreck are major highlights in themselves. I’ll dive back in anytime I can.

2. Dark Ride

The centerpiece of the Boardwalk (and CarnEvil) is the Castle of Chaos dark ride, long abandoned and non-functional. That hasn’t stopped a group of enterprising carnies from setting up shop inside to enact their depraved antics, and they’ve opened the place up so you can walk along its track and through its backstage areas to see what nightmares they’ve cooked up.

Holy Hell do I love this concept. I’m the guy that always hopes that the Haunted Mansion will break down so I have a chance to walk through the ride, and Dark Ride plays that sort of morbid curiosity up, with a healthy bit of evil clowns and circus horror thrown in to keep you on your toes. What impresses me most is how easy it is to suspend disbelief that this isn’t just a temporary seasonal thing, but that you are walking through a real (albeit cheesy) dark ride that’s on the fritz. On top of that, the finale room looks like a total joy to play in if you’re one of the scareactors, as they seem to be able to leap, slide and clamber all over the place thanks to some well-placed ramps and scaffolds. I hope Dark Ride hangs in there as long as possible.

1. Origins: The Curse of Calico

Years ago, Sarah Marshall was dragged to the gallows by the citizens of Calico on suspicion of being a witch. In retaliation, before she cheated death she laid a curse on the town, transforming the townsfolk into beasts and cadavers. This is the story that’s been told for Ghost Town as a scare zone in the past, but this year Origins aims to reveal the whole story and put its visitors in the role of a posses looking for the Green Witch as she sows her wicked magic throughout the damned town.

The other new maze of 2019, and easily the one I was the most excited about, Origins delivers on so many levels it’s not even funny. From the queue line you’re immersed, meeting various non-transformed citizens who help lay out the story and encourage you to help them find the witch, and then on into the maze that I cannot believe they worked into its space in the Wilderness Dance Hall - one scene that has you walking along a dusty covered porch while rain hammers a tin roof above you and drips visibly off into the street, across which stands a saloon where a one-sided gunfight is taking place. It boggles the mind! Not to mention the huge love letter this maze is not only to Ghost Town, but to Scary Farm history as a whole; I mean, you walk through a loose replica of the long-gone Haunted Shack at one point, and there’s a very surprising place for the Catawampus in here.

But really, the care and focus given to the overall unified theme of this maze and Ghost Town is what endears it to me. Knott’s has never shied away from embracing its heritage, and I really enjoy that there seems to be more and more of this mythos-building every year. I hope this trend continues, because Origins is an absolute flavor win and a delight on all fronts, from design to scares. Easily my new favorite.

The Shows

I tend to prioritize the mazes and zones, but Knott’s as a whole does seasonal live entertainment very well, and Scary Farm is no exception. Their shows tend to have a wackier bent with crude comedy at the heart, so if that’s your thing than you have a couple of places to sit back and cool your heels, maybe get a couple laughs in.

I’m generally not a huge fan of The Hanging, which annually lampoons the events and pop culture of the last year before sentencing the worst offender to the noose, but I can appreciate the effort that goes into it from a performance standpoint, as there’s a lot of stunts and a ton of burst blood packets that go into it. I think I enjoyed it more this year than I have in the past, but that’s not saying much as I don’t get much out of a show that dates itself very quickly. I usually skip this. More power to you if you enjoy it, just not my cup of tea.

New this year is Puppet Up: Uncensored at the Charles M. Schultz theater. I think the improv aspect keeps the show fresh with repeat viewings, and seeing improv done with puppets is something else entirely, showcasing the skill of the puppeteers. Again, the show can get pretty raunchy (it’s called “Uncensored” for a reason), but overall I laughed more than I groaned, so that’s a start. I’d say this is worth a visit if you want to sit down for a bit and see something fun and unique.

Conjuring over at the Birdcage Theater is dependent on who’s performing on a given night. Since it’s a magic show, you’ll want to check the schedule and see which magician has an act at what time. The variety is cool, but I stress once more that your mileage may vary.

Final Thoughts

My first and still favorite haunt, it’s hard to top Knott’s. They continue to innovate and explore each year, bringing in some new things while improving what’s already been established. It’s really no wonder, since they have a reputation as the birthplace of modern haunts and are quickly approaching their 50-year anniversary. The scare talent is the longstanding strength of Knott’s, both in the mazes and in the zones, and they deserve all the respect in the world for the grueling work they do night-in, night-out. But I also want to stress that the design of the mazes is getting to the point where I feel they can rival and even surpass Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights in some places with the quality. So far Knott’s has been the only event I’ve attended more than two nights in a season, with the season pass offer being well worth picking up if you can get it.

I’ve still got a couple more places to visit and the bar has been set fairly high, but more haunts are a good thing, no matter what their budget. Thank you for reading my fairly robust take on Scary Farm (I promise not to ramble this much about it next time), I hope you enjoyed it, and I’ll see you in the fog.

Knott’s Scary Farm runs Thursday to Sunday nights throughout October and the first two days of November. More details and tickets can be found here.

The Fog Report - Queen Mary's Dark Harbor 2019

Welcome to the first proper edition of the Fog Report, intrepid readers! For this journey into the artificial mists, I’m starting with a little hometown pride. Smell that brine in the air? That’s our next destination.

While I may not live there anymore, I am a native of Long Beach, CA and still dwell in close proximity. Not only is it one of the biggest ports in the United States, but also home to a decent bit of preserved history. Plenty of buildings found downtown still carry their Art Deco trappings, and historic sites abound.

Yet one of the most significant storied places in Long Beach is not even from the city originally. Permadocked in Long Beach Harbor, the Queen Mary is a former ocean liner, launched in 1934 as a luxurious passenger ship, turned into a troop transport during World War II, and back to its original purpose for another two decades before retiring in 1967 to Long Beach; today it is a floating hotel, museum and tourist attraction you just know carries numerous ghosts.

And it does. It’s been called one of the most haunted places in America, with documented spirit sightings and unusual phenomena reported regularly. The stories behind the haunting are what inspired Dark Harbor, the ship’s seasonal Halloween offering. Now in its 10th year, the event plays on the myths and legends of the ship in order to create a cohesive, underlying theme, utilizing the Queen Mary both figuratively and physically to create the thrills and chills. This is easily the biggest strength of Dark Harbor, which doesn’t shy away from its source material and has created many of its own iconic characters loosely based on genuine history and possibly-genuine phantoms that call the vessel home.

This year I was invited out to be a part of the media gathering for opening night, and am glad to say right away that the last ten years have been good to Dark Harbor, which has improved and changed in its run to become a proper SoCal haunt icon in its own right. So, what does it have to offer?

The Event

Dark Harbor takes place chiefly on the grounds the Queen Mary is docked beside, where a sinister carnival has set up. Passage onto the ship itself is mainly through three of its six mazes, while the rest of the time between is spent in the pseudo-fairground outside. You’ll find your general concession stands, the occasional outdoor bar and a series of rentable cabanas for relaxing in while you watch things go by. There’s live shows and performances throughout the night - anything from fire-eaters to acrobats to aerialists - and the option to ride the Sinister Swings, a ride relocated to Dark Harbor from Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. Also offered is the 4-D Panic Experience which I was unable to take part in but have heard promising things about.

There’s a definite party atmosphere to most of the event, and one that for me is hit-or-miss. Your mileage may vary, but I personally am not a big fan of the kind of modern fair mood that comes with some of the spectacle here. The loud pop music that blares sometimes from various corners is the most egregious and irritating thing, detracting from the sense that this is some wicked cavalcade. There are plenty of spooky props scattered around, and the roaming monsters - most of which seem to be demented carnies - are out doing grade-A work keeping folks on their toes. All of that is fine and makes sense with the theme established; I just wish there was a slightly more committed approach to making it feel like a dark carnival rather than a “Woo! Party!!” place. Maybe that’s just me being a stickler for ambiance.

That said, I’ll never begrudge the more tongue-in-cheek aspects of the event, especially when it comes to the interactions with the ghouls and creatures stalking the area. They all seem to be having a good time, and that makes me happy. The midway is also a place to bump into many of the event’s icons, including the Captain, the Ringmaster and (my personal favorite) Graceful Gale. They’re surprisingly approachable for a group of undead, and are not shy about joking around with guests or posing for pictures. For me, interaction trumps most things, and all of these characters all stay so delightfully in-character; Hell, the talent at Dark Harbor as a whole is phenomenal, and I want to commend the scareactors for killing it that night.

Oh, and before I forget: one of the fun aspects of Dark Harbor has been the concept of the “secret bar.” Hidden in the various mazes of Dark Harbor are four themed bars that require knowing where they are and/or getting an access token, usually from one of the monsters. This is double-edged only in that, in the latter case, people will often come up to various monsters and just demand tokens, when the expectation is really to play with them and earn a token through interaction: last year, for example, I was given a token by a clown called Puddles without me even knowing that was a thing, just because she was fun and I played along with her antics. I’m not sure how it’s done this year, but to anyone who is going on a bar quest, please remember to be considerate to the ghouls, okay?

I did manage to find the new Fathom 6 Bar almost by accident, which is the newest venue. It’s worth finding just so you can say you stood in the very belly of the ship, where the decay and corrosion are real and very ominous. But I’m not gonna tell you where it is… You’ll have to discover it yourself! It’s not about the destination, etc, etc.

The Mazes

The real draw of Dark Harbor is naturally the six haunted mazes. If I gripe a little about the lack of immersion during the main event, then know that it’s well made up for here. Using the ship’s rich history as a backdrop, each makes creative use of its location and setting - especially the three that wind their way through the dark interior of the Queen Mary herself. The corridors and stairwells, metal walls and portholes, and even the occasional section that puts you through the inner-workings of the liner, among the now-silent engines and machinery, goes a long way toward showcasing how unique the experience is. This was a real ship, and it lends credence to the scareactors hiding in the shadows. Furthermore, each maze has a definitive storyline and character tied to it, a concept I love in any themed attraction with its own IP.

I’ll break down each maze here, from my least to my most favorite. This is strictly my personal preference, as I am glad to say there wasn’t a dud in the bunch. I’ll similarly try to avoid putting in too many spoilers, but it bears mentioning a few of the highlights in each maze for me.

6. Rogue

The newest maze at Dark Harbor, Rogue makes its debut this year having taken over the old footprint (and many of the old setpieces) of DeadRise. This makes some sense because both mazes - represented by the Captain - are based on lore from the time when the Queen Mary was a troopship. The story behind this one is that you are re-experiencing a fateful night in 1942 when the ship was nearly capsized by a rogue wave. While the ship ultimately survived, the Captain did not, and this maze is a ghastly echo of the last moments of his life - possibly warped to show what would have happened if the ship did go belly-up ala The Poseidon Adventure.

I think this one will grow on me as time goes on. There’s some neat beats in Rogue, from a scene where the living Captain tries to steer the ship through a projected stormy sea to a recreation of a Queen Mary lobby room that is upside-down. I think the reason this is so low on this list is because the theme is inherently kind of hard to pull off. The scares mainly come from the shouting of ghostly soldiers, constantly ordering you to keep moving, take cover, get below, etc. There’s a manic energy to the maze which I’m not necessarily a fan of, but again, it’s not like the maze doesn’t work. I look forward to seeing future iterations of this in the coming seasons, if it sticks around.

5. Circus

At the heart of the midway is the Ringmaster’s circus tent, where her nightmarish misfits, freaks and oddballs wait for you in a disturbing funhouse. This one is the closest to actually being a maze, sending you through a hall of mirrors and along branching paths, through a spinning tunnel and even a ball pit. Come to think of it, there’s balls everywhere in this maze, though I think that’s mainly from guests dislodging them from the pit (intentionally or not) and scattering them through.

While the Circus and its Ringmaster don’t necessarily have ties to the ship’s history, they’ve been a part of Dark Harbor long enough that they’re established lore for the event, and at this point it would be stranger if both weren’t present. This is probably my favorite iteration of the maze so far, as in past years it was usually at the bottom of my list. It succeeds in embracing the disorienting quality of funhouse gags, and the carnies inhabiting do a great job both hitting on the scares and camping it up.

(And if you meet the bearded lady, feel free to say hi. She’s an old friend of Midnight Marinara’s.)

4. Feast

As tired as it might seem for some people - myself included - cannibalism can still be a good theme for a maze if done correctly. Here the dark and fetid kitchens of the ship are ruled by Chef, the ghost of a vicious cook who was thrown into his own oven after it was revealed he’d been poisoning passengers and serving their remains in his dishes. Entering through the Queen Mary’s distribution center, you soon find yourself surrounded by Chef’s loyal undead staff and the bodies of those who made the cut for the menu.

There’s a lot of up and down in this one, so prepare for some exercise. It’s also very claustrophobic and warm in the tight corridors, which kind of naturally lends to the Grindhouse atmosphere with all the bloody bits. This year they managed to rework the maze’s footprint so that you’ll eventually end up down the boiler room and pass through Hatch 13, a watertight door that crushed a man to death in 1966. It’s considered one of the more active haunted spots on the vessel, and the reworking allows for another icon, Half-Hatch Henry, to be a part of this maze, right at the source that inspired his character. Overall, Feast continues to improve as an experience, though I do miss Soulmate, the maze that once occupied Feast’s area and was the home of Graceful Gale and her machinations.

3. B340

Named after the Queen Mary’s most haunted cabin, B340 tells the (totally fictional) story of Samuel the Savage, a demented passenger who went on a murderous rampage during a voyage and was locked in B340 until they could make port. Somewhere in the interim though, Samuel vanished, leaving nothing but a bloody mess in the room he’d been sealed in. As the maze progresses, you follow a detective’s doomed trail and discover what drove Samuel to commit his crimes.

There’s been a lot of variations of this maze over the years, and I feel it maintains the same level of creepiness and intensity throughout. More visceral than haunting, it has a surreal tone with moments where it seems like you’re seeing twisted visions of Samuel’s past and the various grotesque demons that haunted him. This one is chock full of cool moments and creative scares, my favorite being a walk across a catwalk over a very real drop into a darkened boiler room, where it feels like the bridge is collapsing underneath you.

2. Lullaby

Scary Mary lurks here, based loosely on the sightings of ghosts near the first-class pool. Mary is said to have drowned in the pool in 1952, and her lonesome spirit lingers on in death, looking for new playmates. This year, the story seems to center on a wannabe paranormal investigator having conjured Mary back from beyond. You’ll venture toward the pool where she drowned, encountering her and her victims along the way.

Lullaby is a much quieter, more subtle maze with superb gloomy atmosphere. What parts aren’t dark are lit in watery blues and greens, and scares come from unexpected places. Gone is the overarching theme of toys and games, and instead there’s more emphasis on the buildup and the horror; weird as this might sound for a maze, it has great pacing. While you don’t actually go to the pool like you did in previous years, I’ll just say Lullaby finds a new and interesting way to get the pool theme across at its finale.

1. Intrepid

The most effective of the off-ship mazes, Intrepid makes excellent use of the preexisting port village area near the entrance to Dark Harbor, using both its exterior and interior. The story centers on the Iron Master, the immortal and damned architect who designed the Queen Mary and was bound to an iron Hell after making a deal with a sea witch to preserve the ship’s legacy. Your journey begins on a ghost train and carries you to Edinburgh, Scotland, where a funeral procession, a foggy swamp and plague-filled catacombs await.

This has been my favorite maze since it got reworked last year, and it remains the most entertaining and genuinely spooky of the haunts for me due to its varied locations and great use of atmosphere. The production value of this maze is high, considering it doesn’t have the foreboding interiors of the ship to work with, and I think it translates well as a supernatural journey through the Iron Master’s tale, ending with him appearing in all his macabre glory. This one is well worth a visit.

Also, any maze that has plague doctors in it is going be a high pick on my list. Call me biased, but plague doctors are always cool.

Tips for the Event

If you’re planning on going to Dark Harbor, here’s a few kernels of wisdom from someone that has attended this event a few times and still only kinda knows what they’re doing. Take them as you will.

• The biggest complaint I hear about Dark Harbor every year is the parking situation, which is known to cause traffic backups approaching the venue. What I’ve personally done to avoid this is park downtown, generally near the Aquarium of the Pacific/Shoreline Village, and make use of the Passport bus to get to the Queen Mary. These buses are free, and from the area I mentioned it only takes maybe 10 minutes to make the trip. They also run until 1 AM, so you can stay for the bulk of the night before heading back.

• Hit the mazes on the ship first, as they tend to fill up quickly for general admission. There is a slight upcharge for Fast Fright which is definitely worth it if you go on a weekend, but during a weeknight or Sunday crowds don’t get too bad and you should be able to hit all the mazes if you plan accordingly. Of the outdoor mazes, Circus tends to back up, so save it until later in the evening or hit it right away.

• Less of a tip and more of a rule: remember to be polite and respectful to the crew and the monsters. The number of stories I’ve heard about rude and belligerent guests harassing the Dark Harbor staff is way higher than it should be. I shouldn’t have to spell it out, but it bears repeating.

Final Thoughts

Dark Harbor has come a long way in 10 years, and its fascinating to see how much it enhances itself every year. It’s quickly become something I look forward to each Halloween season, and for me ranks among the best that SoCal has to offer. Nothing quite tops the way Dark Harbor utilizes its “ghost ship” location for maximum impact, and the talent behind-the-scenes should be commended for the work they’ve done making the mazes tie in with the ship’s myriad tales. The actors always impress, from the icon characters to the street monsters, maze lurkers and performers during the shows, and I hope they continue to be given room to play in this haunted space. All in all, it’s well worth a sojourn if you happen to be in the area around this time of year.

Thank you for joining me on the start of my Halloween odyssey. Have fun, stay safe, and I’ll see you in the fog.

Dark Harbor runs for 23 nights from September 26th through November 2nd. Tickets can be found here. Special thanks to to Dark Harbor and Victori Solutions for inviting me to the media event.

The Fog Report - Blowing the Foghorn (Introduction)

Good evening, intrepid readers, and welcome to the land of perpetual fog that is Southern California in October. For those of you just stumbling in, I’m David, the erstwhile creator of Midnight Marinara and Undercooked Analysis. And before anyone asks me some meteorological questions, I should explain that these foggy conditions are artificial: multitudes of machines blowing odd-smelling, musty mists from the dark corners of numerous haunted attractions, which rise up like so many restless phantoms every Halloween season. If there’s one thing you can count on at a haunt, it’s this fog.

I admittedly haven’t been going to haunts as long as others - my icebreaker was being coaxed into Knott’s Scary Farm in 2013 and never looking back - but as someone who loves horror, themed entertainment and creative storytelling, I feel like I can offer my perspective on what I experience every season. SoCal has a pretty unique scene when it comes to these kind of events - mainly that there’s so many in such a close proximity! I actually talked about what I saw last year on an episode of The Witching Hour, and have been wanting to revisit some of the ideas I brought up in there with greater emphasis, To that end, The Fog Report will be a series of posts about my Halloween odyssey, breaking down what each event has to offer, what I like, what I don’t like, and how scares and themes are brought across.

This is just an introduction, of course, but you can expect several of these going forward this year, and more where that came from in the future (provided I survive ‘til the next season). I can tell you right now I’ve already paid a visit to Knott’s Scary Farm with every intention of going back for more, and will be dropping anchor at Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor in a matter of hours from this post going live. I’m already stoked that I can start getting my spooky immersive fixes in before October has even hit, and am happy to be your ghastly lighthouse keeper in this perpetually opaque haze; hopefully I can offer some insight and entertainment along the way.