David, Allen and Abysmii hesitantly return to the tales of Paul Ernst after being left chilled by the previous entry. Thankfully, it seems Doctor Satan is up to his old tricks of weird crime, with a plan involving speaking to the dead via a peculiar “antidote.” Will Ascott Keane have to follow suit? Why is he keeping a tiny corpse in his pocket? And is the new best character one that the hosts create almost by accident?
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, March 1936.
The gang try their hands at another weird little TTRPG, this time about a wayward cab ride through the cosmos. Join driver Albert the Grey (Papreeka) and passengers Gretchicus Secundus (Abysmii), Lars (Kaela) and T3K3 (David) as they attempt to achieve their own conflicting goals while navigating through shifting interstellar hazards (and learning the rules), from gooey egg clouds to space cats.
Game by gothHoblin. Get it for yourself here.
Part 2 of Poe Standards - the newest UCA segment that might only last 4 episodes - sees Allen and David reading what begins as an essay but continues into a cautionary tale about intrusive thoughts, self-destructive tendencies, and murdering people with candles.
Story by Edgar Allen Poe, first published in 1845. Read along here.
Horror as a whole owes a lot to Poe, but as proven time and again, even masters of the craft have their apparent duds. Allen submits to David the first of four F-Tier Poe narratives (based on some rando’s opinion), which apparently contains an allegory as two drunken sailors have a completely bewildering encounter in a plague-quarantined part of London.
Story by Edgar Allen Poe, first published in 1835. Read along here.
David, Allen and Abysmii invite special guest Brad to an initiation: a fresh pair of eyes on the some of shortstory1’s most recent work. Will a new perspective bring new insights into these unusual stories?
Read along with us:
1. “I clean up crime scenes while naked”
2. “The special toilet paper”
3. “My intelligence and emotional intelligence will now be off balanced”
4. “All men must wear a burqa”
5. “To move to the next day we must all do something disgusting”
Just when David, Allen and Abysmii were getting comfortable with this series, Paul throws a curve ball of seeming incompetence when the story forgets a certain character died in a prior chapter; meanwhile Ascott and Beatrice play dress-up to survive, and the main showdown turns into a anti-climactic Pokemon battle.
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, January 1936.
With a new year of mounting dread upon most everyone’s heads, David, Allen and Abysmii decide to ease into it with the ever-comforting Luciferian antics of Doctor Satan. This time, he’s getting into the insurance business is a fittingly weird way, and is once again using fire as the catalyst for his plot. How many fat businessmen will Ascott Keane sacrifice in the pursuit of his greatest foe? How many people will be added to the Faint Counter? And how in the world is Doctor Satan still unknown to the elite class that he’s targeting?
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, January 1936.
Content Warning: reference to suicide
UCA is officially 10 years old, and to belatedly acknowledge this, Kaela has a special Christmas gift for David: Holiday-adjacent pulp from Weird Tales, written by the author of The Phantom of the Opera. The duo that started it will have contend with sailors, street fairs and the notion that Baby Jesus might actually be the one delivering gifts on Christmas Eve.
Story by Gaston Leroux, first published in Weird Tales, December 1930.
That absolute madman Allen Chaney has David and Kaela with him to be witness to a daring stunt that is sure to freak minds. Will he survive?
“this story could kill allen” (aka, “The leak from the upstairs flat”) was submitted by Julia Grane
The line between Rorshack Rorsharn and Julia Grane blurs further as David lets Abysmii pick the two stories they will read, one from each pseudonym. And, like in the past, their horizons are broadened as they read way too much into the jank narratives, bringing the episode to a surprisingly poignant conclusion.
“the skibidi man” was submitted by Rorshack Rorshan; “lift your problems” was submitted by Julia Grane.
After paying their respects to our runners-up with some brief thoughts and analysis, David, Allen and Abysmii reveal the campy, colorful and comical 1st-place winner of our New Pulp Writing Challenge. A sincere parody of the genre’s most over-the-top material, we (re)join Cannon Washington as he stoically challenges the Uber-Kremlin’s dastardly schemes in: Justice for All! Part 17: Man Waits for No Time.
Story submitted by Daniel Scamell.
The 2nd-place winner of the New Pulp Writing Challenge is another cosmic nightmare, but this time witnessed through the disjointed epistolary of a mad(?) professor. David, Allen and Abysmii try to put the pieces together and revel in the elegent use of ambiguity in the unknown.
Story submitted by ClericofMadness.
Check out The Fog Report of Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor here.
After some careful consideration, David, Allen and Abysmii begin the process of revealing and discussing the winners of our New Pulp Writing Challenge. And this 3rd-place entry is an eldritch nightmare that evokes an alien city and an exacerbated game of cat-and-mouse with the story’s namesake fiendish entity. But what does this creature want with our protagonist? And why does this story bring up a tangent about Animorphs? (Spoilers: because the hosts are dumb)
Story submitted by A. S. Evans.
Atomic scrambling has left Abysmii a living skeleton, so David, Kaela and Allen will have to finish their analysis of Doctor Satan’s current cruel scheme. With Ascott Keane closing in, will the diabolical villain be able to follow through with his plan? Or will the power of his mysterious ray see both of them cut down to size (pun intended)?
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, October 1935.
Have David and Allen been hoodwinked? Is this a sign of a narrative trend? A mysterious writer submits five very short stories that bear the uncanny hallmarks of shortstory1 and Rorshack Rorshan, and leaves them scratching their heads as they try to figure out what is going on.
All stories submitted by Julia Grane.
Doctor Satan brings his weird crimes to Tinseltown, much to David, Allen and Abysmii's mirth. Can it be that, despite the horror it evokes, this latest scheme to pry cash from wealthy studio moguls doesn't involve direct murder? And how much good has the birdlike Ascott Keane actually done when he has consistently failed to stop his nemesis? No bones about it, this might be the goofiest entry in the series so far!
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, October 1935.
Phantom furniture poses a problem in this odd account from the 1920s. David, Kaela and Abysmii present another weird pulp tale of unintended comedy and unintended(?) sexual tension, all wrapped around one man’s attempt to get an anniversary gift for his wife and how it goes wrong (and on a rampage).
Story by Elliot O’Donnell, published in Weird Tales, February 1928.
Be sure to check out our New Pulp Revival Writing Challenge here!
David and Matt are in for a shock as they join Kaela, Allen and Abysmii for the explosive finale of the second Doctor Satan tale. As Ascott Keane learns the truth of his adversary’s latest scheme, prepare to be jolted by the reveal of Bostiff’s backstory, a staggering amount of innuendo, and the electric clock’s purpose becoming the dumbest plot point Paul Ernst has conceived so far.
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, September 1935.
Be sure to check out our New Pulp Revival Writing Challenge here!
Attempting something new for this show, David, Kaela and special guest Nick Jewell gather in-person to play a storytelling game, powered by the English Eerie RPG system. Working in tandem, they craft the tale of Prof. Roderick Skeffington as he attempts to learn the haunting truth behind rumors of a beast on the moor.
System by Scott Malthouse and Trollish Delver Games. Get the game here.
Be sure to check out our New Pulp Revival Writing Challenge here!
The actual second story in the Doctor Satan series is unveiled as Kaela, Allen and Abysmii clue in to the newest scheme of the world’s weirdest criminal. Ascott Keane disguises himself as a tree to film people, a man’s last words have something to do with shaving, and an electric clock (or lack thereof) is somehow a giveaway for Doctor Satan’s dastardly plot. Will Keane ever get over himself enough to have another round with his equally-extra rival?
Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, September 1935.
