Abysmii

200 - "The Rake 2026" & "The Russian Sleep Act"

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The swan song of UCA is a mashup of memes in more ways than one. As David, Allen and Abysmii bid their farewells and look ahead to future silliness in another podcast project, they give their last bit of love to the Creepypasta genre by reading two classics that have been run through 26 different languages to see the weird results.

One behalf of the entire Creative Horror team, thank you for listening to this silly and stupid show for the last 12 years.

“The Rake” is attributed to Bryan Somerville. Read the original here.
”The Russian Sleep Experiment” can be found here.

199 - SCP Roundup: 2257 & 2343

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David, Allen and Abysmii take one more trip to the SCP Foundation before the year is up, revealing two entries of interest as they see what’s popping out of SCP-294.

"SCP-2257 - House God" by InsipidParoxysm, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/scp-2257. Licensed under CC BY-SA.

"SCP-2343 - How I Got To Memphis" by Doctor Cimmerian, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/scp-2343. Licensed under CC BY-SA.

195 - "The Mask of Death" (Part 2) by Paul Ernst

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All weird tales must come to an end, even the world’s weirdest criminal’s. We wrap up these serial adventures with the inexplicable return of Bostiff, the reveal of Doctor Satan’s peculiar plot, and a rare moment of humility from Ascott Keane. But we’re not quite done with Doctor Satan yet…

Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, September 1936.

194 - "The Mask of Death" (Part 1) by Paul Ernst

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It’s the end of the road for Doctor Satan’s stint in Weird Tales, but was the best saved for last? Abysmii, Allen and David aim to find out as the villain’s plot manifests in a millionaire’s retreat, where Ascott Keane finally gets called out and a sinister new character enters the picture: Madame Sin.

Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, September 1936.

193 - "The Devil's Double" (Part 2) by Paul Ernst

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A finale so weird, it had to be done twice! Well, sort of. Abysmii, Allen and David manage to patch together two different recording sessions to put a bow on this finale, where Doctor Satan gets egg on his face, Ascott realizes he doesn’t own a gun, and Bostiff gets an unceremonious sendoff.

Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, May 1936.

Bonus - Deadly-End Jobs (Choice Dregs)

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Normally reserved for our Patreon audience, we’d like to offer a full-course of Choice Dregs for you to try. These rambling warmups are normally what get us into the show, and due to a technical snafu we’ve got this delicacy as a backup. Topics include Platonic body horror, allegedly-prudish generations, fictionalizing how work kills you, War Planets virus and Date Everything.

192 - "The Devil's Double" (Part 1) by Paul Ernst

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The penultimate Doctor Satan story dials things way back after the last entry, leaving David, Allen and Abysmii to wonder again about the logical continuity of the series. Ascott Keane is somehow wowed by Doctor Satan’s ability to hypnotize people, an ability he himself possesses and uses to track his foe; meanwhile, Frank Exposition goes to a kissing party with a 10-cent book.

Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, May 1936.

188 - "Beyond Death's Gateway" (Part 2) by Paul Ernst

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Part 2 sees a strangely philosophical side of Paul’s storytelling as Ascott Keane pursues his nemesis into the land of the dead, meets his deceased father, and battles Doctor Satan in a sphere of damned souls. But has the continuity been restored? Does Girse show up? And who exactly is the “dictator of Texas?” David, Allen and Abysmii aim to find out!

Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, March 1936.

187 - "Beyond Death's Gateway" (Part 1) by Paul Ernst

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David, Allen and Abysmii hesitantly return to the tales of Paul Ernst after being left chilled by the previous entry. Thankfully, it seems Doctor Satan is up to his old tricks of weird crime, with a plan involving speaking to the dead via a peculiar “antidote.” Will Ascott Keane have to follow suit? Why is he keeping a tiny corpse in his pocket? And is the new best character one that the hosts create almost by accident?

Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, March 1936.

186 - Playing Space Taxi

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The gang try their hands at another weird little TTRPG, this time about a wayward cab ride through the cosmos. Join driver Albert the Grey (Papreeka) and passengers Gretchicus Secundus (Abysmii), Lars (Kaela) and T3K3 (David) as they attempt to achieve their own conflicting goals while navigating through shifting interstellar hazards (and learning the rules), from gooey egg clouds to space cats.

Game by gothHoblin. Get it for yourself here.

183 - Short and Shivery 45

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David, Allen and Abysmii invite special guest Brad to an initiation: a fresh pair of eyes on the some of shortstory1’s most recent work. Will a new perspective bring new insights into these unusual stories?

Read along with us:
1. “I clean up crime scenes while naked”
2. “The special toilet paper”
3. “My intelligence and emotional intelligence will now be off balanced”
4. “All men must wear a burqa”
5. “To move to the next day we must all do something disgusting”

182 - "Horror Insured" (Part 2) by Paul Ernst

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Just when David, Allen and Abysmii were getting comfortable with this series, Paul throws a curve ball of seeming incompetence when the story forgets a certain character died in a prior chapter; meanwhile Ascott and Beatrice play dress-up to survive, and the main showdown turns into a anti-climactic Pokemon battle.

Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, January 1936.

181 - "Horror Insured" (Part 1) by Paul Ernst

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With a new year of mounting dread upon most everyone’s heads, David, Allen and Abysmii decide to ease into it with the ever-comforting Luciferian antics of Doctor Satan. This time, he’s getting into the insurance business is a fittingly weird way, and is once again using fire as the catalyst for his plot. How many fat businessmen will Ascott Keane sacrifice in the pursuit of his greatest foe? How many people will be added to the Faint Counter? And how in the world is Doctor Satan still unknown to the elite class that he’s targeting?

Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, January 1936.

178 - Short and Shivery 44

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The line between Rorshack Rorsharn and Julia Grane blurs further as David lets Abysmii pick the two stories they will read, one from each pseudonym. And, like in the past, their horizons are broadened as they read way too much into the jank narratives, bringing the episode to a surprisingly poignant conclusion.

“the skibidi man” was submitted by Rorshack Rorshan; “lift your problems” was submitted by Julia Grane.

177 - "Cannon Washington: The American Hammer of Freedom" by Daniel Scamell

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After paying their respects to our runners-up with some brief thoughts and analysis, David, Allen and Abysmii reveal the campy, colorful and comical 1st-place winner of our New Pulp Writing Challenge. A sincere parody of the genre’s most over-the-top material, we (re)join Cannon Washington as he stoically challenges the Uber-Kremlin’s dastardly schemes in: Justice for All! Part 17: Man Waits for No Time.

Story submitted by Daniel Scamell.

176 - "No Further Communication" by ClericofMadness

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The 2nd-place winner of the New Pulp Writing Challenge is another cosmic nightmare, but this time witnessed through the disjointed epistolary of a mad(?) professor. David, Allen and Abysmii try to put the pieces together and revel in the elegent use of ambiguity in the unknown.

Story submitted by ClericofMadness.

Check out The Fog Report of Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor here.

175 - "Pursuit of the Ivory Horror" by A. S. Evans

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After some careful consideration, David, Allen and Abysmii begin the process of revealing and discussing the winners of our New Pulp Writing Challenge. And this 3rd-place entry is an eldritch nightmare that evokes an alien city and an exacerbated game of cat-and-mouse with the story’s namesake fiendish entity. But what does this creature want with our protagonist? And why does this story bring up a tangent about Animorphs? (Spoilers: because the hosts are dumb)

Story submitted by A. S. Evans.

172 - "Hollywood Horror" (Part 1) by Paul Ernst

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Doctor Satan brings his weird crimes to Tinseltown, much to David, Allen and Abysmii's mirth. Can it be that, despite the horror it evokes, this latest scheme to pry cash from wealthy studio moguls doesn't involve direct murder? And how much good has the birdlike Ascott Keane actually done when he has consistently failed to stop his nemesis? No bones about it, this might be the goofiest entry in the series so far!

Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, October 1935.